I'm Still Alive and Free

I'm Still Alive and Free

Just a quick note of explanation for my regular audience.

I haven't made a new video in a long time and website updates have become irregular. For proof-of-life (hehe) you might want to follow my "associate" on Twitter. (see: (4) Mrs. Smith (@FringeViews) / Twitter )

Many of you know I had intended to take a break in January but put it off to cover the Trucker Convoy in Canada. It was a very important moment for my country so I used every last bit of energy I had to do reports about it at the time. After the convoy coverage I did the one WEF Global Shapers video because I felt the information was important as it gave the public a chance to pinpoint exactly who they could track and approach in their local areas. I was glad to see that information spread far and wide! Thank you to everyone who jumped on that topic and contributed with their own research, sharing the video, etc.

After that Global Shapers report went out, I ran out of gas.

Look, I know these moaning-type posts must be getting boring for you. It's not a subject I want to be writing about, believe me, but I think an explanation is warranted after such a long absence. My apologies if the following comes off as self-indulgent but there are those who I know are worried about me or who are wondering whether or not I'm gone for good so this post is for them. (God bless all of you for your genuine care, concern and connection. I am so grateful and blessed beyond words to have such a wonderful group around me.)

Let me start by acknowledging something important that is missing from the bulk of commentary in this day and age: we are living in a time of disorientation, loss, grief, desperation, information overload, and (mostly falsified) existential terror. We are being tortured, and torture works. People lose themselves. People acquiesce to all sorts of things they didn't think possible under normal circumstances. People go into shock. People give up, they cave in, and people die. Even though torture always succeeds in changing a person, it is not all negative in the end. I would never, ever advocate for torture and believe it to be a great evil, so don't mistake my message here. But there are some individuals who become stronger in some ways from the experience. Changed, and mostly negatively so, but having been forged in the fire their resolve hardens and becomes unbreakable. During the period of torture, however, each individual suffers in different measure according to his or her own constitution. Like it or not, that is where we are now. We are all still enduring the torture. What has been forced upon us for the past two (or more) years has been and continues to be a destruction of society, economy, culture, family, faith and individuals. Whatever stage you're in at the moment, however you are personally dealing with the torture I'm sure you will be able to relate to some of what I'm about to write.

Without getting into details, I can share that I've been lost in the Land of Deep Mourning for a while now. At first, even though the Covid Craziness was horrifying, I had been able to face it because my personal world remained intact. I had a sheltered island to retreat to while the surrounding sea was roiled by fear, doubt and uncertainty. For about 16 months following March 2020 I was able to see, research and deliver all the ugly news without it eating away at my heart and soul. I went to sleep at night peacefully because I felt that from my island I could perhaps help to inform people and thus help bring sanity back to society with my little contributions. This foundation - my island - had been all I needed to be able to carry on staring into the abyss, bring you reports, and even have a chuckle from time to time.

In September my island sunk into the deep. I can't tell you what happened for the sake of privacy though I dearly wish to dilute the exquisite pain contained in the story by pouring it out of me and into the hearts of all who read it. To do so would be selfish, though, so I choose to contain it within. Suffice to say that it was a blindside. The facts took weeks to fully set in and the emotional rollercoaster has not come to a stop yet. Since September I've been dealing with the typical stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Since this wasn't a death there's not been an end point. I can't accept it because the future is still unfolding. Maybe instead of 'acceptance' which is supposed to be the final stage of grief I will have to learn to live with it in another way.

In any case, what I found was that I couldn't look at the news any more. All of it was (is?) too painful. I could (can) barely interact with people. Who will I be when I come out the other end of this? How much of this is me being over-dramatic? What do I want for the future and am I even in control of this death/rebirth that I feel I'm going through?

Coincidentally (or probably not) my physical health began to deteriorate as well. It is mostly my eyes, as it was when I'd tried to escape Ontario and drive part way across the country. (Is this God or the Adversary stepping in I wonder?) Perhaps it is related to the fact that everything is twice as difficult to do now but my energy level has plummeted to a concerning level. What with the medical system here having bottomed out - not only will doctors not see patients in the office (hello Great Reset & Telehealth) - but I'm dubious in the extreme about interacting with it anyway.

As you can probably guess much of my work time is spent reading so with very blurry vision, well, you can guess how that has impacted my routine. And not just for reading, of course, but for all aspects of life. Perhaps de to the psychological factors in play I have found that when I try to work I feel nauseated and shaky, like I've been through a form of aversion therapy (torture, maybe.) On the other hand not working and not producing has also been very difficult. This is the basic shape of the hole I'm trying to climb out of with the help of distance, prayer and reflection.

As I type today I believe I'll be able to make a video soon, God willing. I'm feeling a little better lately and I've worked out some 'Mad Max' solutions for my ever-changing vision (see pic). Just a few days ago I got a new pair which works today but may not work a week from now. Luckily I have kept almost every pair of glasses I have ever worn, so I have material to work with. 🙂 Hey - it's a head start on the coping skills we'll all need in the 'you-will-own-nothing-and-be-happy' future, right? I can be the hobo optician. Ha!

Once again I apologize for making a post that is all about me and my problems (cringe) but as I said I've been away long enough that my monthly subscribers and other supporters were owed an honest explanation for my absence.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to check out that twitter link. Mrs. Smith would be happy to see you.

God bless,

Polly

313

reviews

Susan

10 Feb 2023

My heart goes out to you having to view this disastrous situation so clearly is devastating!
Are you able to surround yourself with like thinkers I'm searching for some now in my life which are hard to find. It's a very lonely place and heartbreaking.

Cristina

02 Feb 2023

Polly, I honestly don’t know how you do it. Facing so much evil, must be like exorcism, taking a lot of energy off you. I must admit I stopped listening to you for a while, because it all became too much at a point. I admire your strength, but advise from a very far away monk (not me) is that we must pray, focus on the good for the good to thrive. Can you see any good people, any good things around? Would be good to focus on them too…

Annie Aspinall

13 Nov 2022

Dearest Polly, I have finally found you! So relieved that you are ok, well you're kinda ok. None of us are ok anymore I'm starting to realize. Here in New Zealand it's been crazy too. I've joined and following quite a few groups and persons to educate myself about what's really going on. Fortunately I have 'likeminded' friends, so we send information to each other. The narrative keeps changing, with rabbit-holes everywhere!
Blessings to you. Praying 🙏

AAAMPAVOO

25 Sep 2022

....................................................................I LOVE YOU ! ..................................................................................
.....................................................................AND WILL....................................................................................
.........................................................BRING YOU TO THE LORD................................................................
.....................................................................IN PRAYER.........................................................................................

Lee Baldwin

01 Aug 2022

Hello miss polly. I specifically wanted to find a way to message you as directly as possible in order to share to you some as yet unmentioned information regarding the jabs and the hidden in plain sight unprescidented amount of death that has already occured as a direct result of the staged build up of certain overlooked eliments that make up the solution that the rna protien strands and the graphene that delivers it.
Basically its salt overload built up in phases to eventually overcome the target peoples.
Thats why the main side effect is heart problems
I have evidence pics but cant send it in this message format.
Email is 2beanon9921@gmail.com

Lynn

02 Jun 2022

One more comment polly. Have you found your tribe in real flesh-and-blood people? I think that is super important now. Of course you still have to deal with friends and families who do not feel the same way you do but it is so wonderful to be around like-minded people and very healing. I have been lucky enough to find a church in my area where it appears everyone sees the great threats facing us at every level. I don't have to watch what I say around these people. And of course we have the common belief of faith that God is in control in the end. But being around my tribe once a week is incredibly healing. It helps you realize you are not alone. I know you have your tribe here on your website but you need some flesh-and-blood people you can be around safely. So I hope you find your tribe even if it's just a tribe of two!

Lynn

02 Jun 2022

Polly thank you for this update. I had been wondering and worrying. I am not surprised this is getting to you because you put so much of yourself into everything. Please take care of yourself and find Joy somewhere. I find being outside in nature helps a whole lot. Or around animals, or small children who remain sincere through all of this. I'm so sorry your Island sunk. I'm hoping another Island or refuge will arise soon in your life. You remain in my prayers for a sense of purpose, happiness and contentment even in these crazy times. Hugs, take care,

Curtis

26 May 2022

Hello!!..!! Polly you are my sister from ,?? Another mother...Small Pox, I knew way back when creep fouchii, said "small px!! Do a search for "antidote" they don't want to die,they know cures but use us to be rich. Look for SBL World Class Homeopathy. My box with 200C 30ml drops of Sarracenia Purpurea, also says Mfg. By SBL PVT. LTD.
I think was shipped from India. !!! That's why bible says not to use pharmicia,, spelling??. I'm at Also many health help I search ,,type problem like "homeopathy for lungs". Try search engine -"Q W A N T

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