I'm Still Alive and Free
I'm Still Alive and FreeJust a quick note of explanation for my regular audience.
I haven't made a new video in a long time and website updates have become irregular. For proof-of-life (hehe) you might want to follow my "associate" on Twitter. (see: (4) Mrs. Smith (@FringeViews) / Twitter )
Many of you know I had intended to take a break in January but put it off to cover the Trucker Convoy in Canada. It was a very important moment for my country so I used every last bit of energy I had to do reports about it at the time. After the convoy coverage I did the one WEF Global Shapers video because I felt the information was important as it gave the public a chance to pinpoint exactly who they could track and approach in their local areas. I was glad to see that information spread far and wide! Thank you to everyone who jumped on that topic and contributed with their own research, sharing the video, etc.
After that Global Shapers report went out, I ran out of gas.
Look, I know these moaning-type posts must be getting boring for you. It's not a subject I want to be writing about, believe me, but I think an explanation is warranted after such a long absence. My apologies if the following comes off as self-indulgent but there are those who I know are worried about me or who are wondering whether or not I'm gone for good so this post is for them. (God bless all of you for your genuine care, concern and connection. I am so grateful and blessed beyond words to have such a wonderful group around me.)
Let me start by acknowledging something important that is missing from the bulk of commentary in this day and age: we are living in a time of disorientation, loss, grief, desperation, information overload, and (mostly falsified) existential terror. We are being tortured, and torture works. People lose themselves. People acquiesce to all sorts of things they didn't think possible under normal circumstances. People go into shock. People give up, they cave in, and people die. Even though torture always succeeds in changing a person, it is not all negative in the end. I would never, ever advocate for torture and believe it to be a great evil, so don't mistake my message here. But there are some individuals who become stronger in some ways from the experience. Changed, and mostly negatively so, but having been forged in the fire their resolve hardens and becomes unbreakable. During the period of torture, however, each individual suffers in different measure according to his or her own constitution. Like it or not, that is where we are now. We are all still enduring the torture. What has been forced upon us for the past two (or more) years has been and continues to be a destruction of society, economy, culture, family, faith and individuals. Whatever stage you're in at the moment, however you are personally dealing with the torture I'm sure you will be able to relate to some of what I'm about to write.
Without getting into details, I can share that I've been lost in the Land of Deep Mourning for a while now. At first, even though the Covid Craziness was horrifying, I had been able to face it because my personal world remained intact. I had a sheltered island to retreat to while the surrounding sea was roiled by fear, doubt and uncertainty. For about 16 months following March 2020 I was able to see, research and deliver all the ugly news without it eating away at my heart and soul. I went to sleep at night peacefully because I felt that from my island I could perhaps help to inform people and thus help bring sanity back to society with my little contributions. This foundation - my island - had been all I needed to be able to carry on staring into the abyss, bring you reports, and even have a chuckle from time to time.
In September my island sunk into the deep. I can't tell you what happened for the sake of privacy though I dearly wish to dilute the exquisite pain contained in the story by pouring it out of me and into the hearts of all who read it. To do so would be selfish, though, so I choose to contain it within. Suffice to say that it was a blindside. The facts took weeks to fully set in and the emotional rollercoaster has not come to a stop yet. Since September I've been dealing with the typical stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Since this wasn't a death there's not been an end point. I can't accept it because the future is still unfolding. Maybe instead of 'acceptance' which is supposed to be the final stage of grief I will have to learn to live with it in another way.
In any case, what I found was that I couldn't look at the news any more. All of it was (is?) too painful. I could (can) barely interact with people. Who will I be when I come out the other end of this? How much of this is me being over-dramatic? What do I want for the future and am I even in control of this death/rebirth that I feel I'm going through?
Coincidentally (or probably not) my physical health began to deteriorate as well. It is mostly my eyes, as it was when I'd tried to escape Ontario and drive part way across the country. (Is this God or the Adversary stepping in I wonder?) Perhaps it is related to the fact that everything is twice as difficult to do now but my energy level has plummeted to a concerning level. What with the medical system here having bottomed out - not only will doctors not see patients in the office (hello Great Reset & Telehealth) - but I'm dubious in the extreme about interacting with it anyway.
As you can probably guess much of my work time is spent reading so with very blurry vision, well, you can guess how that has impacted my routine. And not just for reading, of course, but for all aspects of life. Perhaps de to the psychological factors in play I have found that when I try to work I feel nauseated and shaky, like I've been through a form of aversion therapy (torture, maybe.) On the other hand not working and not producing has also been very difficult. This is the basic shape of the hole I'm trying to climb out of with the help of distance, prayer and reflection.
As I type today I believe I'll be able to make a video soon, God willing. I'm feeling a little better lately and I've worked out some 'Mad Max' solutions for my ever-changing vision (see pic). Just a few days ago I got a new pair which works today but may not work a week from now. Luckily I have kept almost every pair of glasses I have ever worn, so I have material to work with. 🙂 Hey - it's a head start on the coping skills we'll all need in the 'you-will-own-nothing-and-be-happy' future, right? I can be the hobo optician. Ha!
Once again I apologize for making a post that is all about me and my problems (cringe) but as I said I've been away long enough that my monthly subscribers and other supporters were owed an honest explanation for my absence.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget to check out that twitter link. Mrs. Smith would be happy to see you.
God bless,
Polly
314
reviews
Christine Allen
17 Apr 2022
Praying for you Polly. I hear you loud and clear. Please know you're loved, prayed for, and appreciated, online or off.
Francesca Groves
17 Apr 2022
p.s. oops! I seem to have been cut off!
So, where was I?
If you are asking yourself "Why am I here right now?" (which is what I ask myself almost daily)
The answer I get is; "YOU ARE NEEDED."
How are we gonna create the new reality without ya?
And besides, it is the ultimate Great Adventure, doncha think?
I'm looking forward to our sense of humour to come back soon. Can we put a funny spin on this shit, please. Cue the circus music.
Sending you love and light on this Easter Sunday,
Francesca
xo
So, where was I?
If you are asking yourself "Why am I here right now?" (which is what I ask myself almost daily)
The answer I get is; "YOU ARE NEEDED."
How are we gonna create the new reality without ya?
And besides, it is the ultimate Great Adventure, doncha think?
I'm looking forward to our sense of humour to come back soon. Can we put a funny spin on this shit, please. Cue the circus music.
Sending you love and light on this Easter Sunday,
Francesca
xo
Francesca Groves
17 Apr 2022
Oh Dear Polly!
I am covered in Truth Bumps (that's what I call my goosebumps) reading what you have posted.
When your sacred space of safety is damaged or removed completely, it is overwhelming, to say the least.
Here's an idea about the reading thing.....
How about getting someone to read to you?
And, as a way to protect yourself, I also heartily recommend The Sovereignty Declaration. You may be under some kind of spiritual attack. (I know I sound kooky right now!)
I also recommend that you might consider following James Corbett. (He's the great Canadian researcher/commentator living in Japan.)
He is also up to his neck in the negative "news" and has started talking about solutions instead.
Did you know that a Canadian guy named Colin Pape (out of Midland, Ontario) has created a new search engine? Called it Pre-Search.org. THAT's GOOD NEWS!
It's time My Dear. It's time to create our parallel system, our parallel reality.
I'm an old feisty broad of 68 years of age, living here in the suburbs of Toronto, and I can feel it in my bones. Every day I have conversation with a new acquaintance and we end up talking about the new way to live. It is in the ethers. It is everywhere.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my Soul Sister.
And thanks for letting your "Amazing Pollyites" know that you are (kinda) okay.
If you are asking yourself "Why am I here right now?" (which I ask myself all the time.)
The answer is: You are needed.
Sending love, Francesca xo
I am covered in Truth Bumps (that's what I call my goosebumps) reading what you have posted.
When your sacred space of safety is damaged or removed completely, it is overwhelming, to say the least.
Here's an idea about the reading thing.....
How about getting someone to read to you?
And, as a way to protect yourself, I also heartily recommend The Sovereignty Declaration. You may be under some kind of spiritual attack. (I know I sound kooky right now!)
I also recommend that you might consider following James Corbett. (He's the great Canadian researcher/commentator living in Japan.)
He is also up to his neck in the negative "news" and has started talking about solutions instead.
Did you know that a Canadian guy named Colin Pape (out of Midland, Ontario) has created a new search engine? Called it Pre-Search.org. THAT's GOOD NEWS!
It's time My Dear. It's time to create our parallel system, our parallel reality.
I'm an old feisty broad of 68 years of age, living here in the suburbs of Toronto, and I can feel it in my bones. Every day I have conversation with a new acquaintance and we end up talking about the new way to live. It is in the ethers. It is everywhere.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my Soul Sister.
And thanks for letting your "Amazing Pollyites" know that you are (kinda) okay.
If you are asking yourself "Why am I here right now?" (which I ask myself all the time.)
The answer is: You are needed.
Sending love, Francesca xo
Susan Cook
17 Apr 2022
Just relieved to hear you're (kind of) okay - at times like this it's good to remember what they say to airline passengers, about oxygen masks. Put yours on FIRST - and only then should you turn your care and attention to others xx
John hebert
17 Apr 2022
I dont think I have much to say ....Other than agreeing with your title ....Your....Amazing polly
Julie Davis
17 Apr 2022
Hi Polly ! Out of all the info out their to sift through I personally Always went to you first.
More importantly though, is YOU are first! Whatever you need let us know. We support you 100%. If you have any idea of what your prescription details are on your vision we can send over some stylish fashionable lenses to help you. Sending love and light and hope your much needed break restores you of your mind, body and soul. Always your fan and friend. Julie.
More importantly though, is YOU are first! Whatever you need let us know. We support you 100%. If you have any idea of what your prescription details are on your vision we can send over some stylish fashionable lenses to help you. Sending love and light and hope your much needed break restores you of your mind, body and soul. Always your fan and friend. Julie.
Steven
17 Apr 2022
God Bless Polly,
Just glad you are alive, and your health and your mental health is more important than bringing us deep digs. Praying for you and your family! P.S. I know about the vision thing. I get upset with my vision that makes me not read my bible as much because my eyes get tired and blurry.
Just glad you are alive, and your health and your mental health is more important than bringing us deep digs. Praying for you and your family! P.S. I know about the vision thing. I get upset with my vision that makes me not read my bible as much because my eyes get tired and blurry.
Darlene
17 Apr 2022
Hi Polly, I do not know how many times I've checked to see if you have a new video and worried because there was none. I listened to SGT too and thought Sean might mention you, but I don't think he did, unless I missed it. Anyway, I'm so glad to hear that you are ok but I feel your pain and sorry about the state of the world, I feel it too and often it is overwhelming. Regarding your health issues I wanted to encourage you to check out "the universal antidote" on Rumble or Bitchute. Sending lots of healing energy and love to you.