It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses an 'I'
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t uploaded a video in a couple of weeks. I’m writing now to ask you to be patient with me and to tell you that I’m doing okay, not to worry. In this letter to you I’d like to explain a few things and give you a peek into my past and present. I’ve been asked many times about my research methods, and it’s been speculated here and there on the internet that I must have partners because, quote, “there’s no way she can do that all by herself.” Well, here’s the truth.
I do work alone and except for the odd article here and there that people have sent me via email I get my own leads and follow my own instincts to gather every piece of information that I use in my videos. I make all the graphics and do all the editing. Personally I don’t see why this is so unbelievable to anyone. I think the reason it may seem so is because I can draw on a wealth of material quite quickly and I have a wide range of knowledge in a variety of subject areas across a fairly long span of history. This is because of my past habits, not necessarily because of any unique methods of research.
Before I began posting videos in about March 2016 I had been an artist – a painter. Visual artists can tell you that this work is somewhat meditative and as such it is conducive to learning. While my hands and a part of my brain were occupied by the canvas I would listen to audiobooks, interviews and lectures on a wide variety of topics. It so happened that I had always been interested in ‘high weirdness’ so at first those were the topics I gravitated to before moving on to try to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me.
But I have to go back in time for a minute.
As a girl of 12 or 13 I read Erich Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods which blew my mind. A couple of years later I got to hear a friend’s family discussions about the unusual elements of the Kennedy Assassination and the Moon Landings which introduced me to the idea that recent history might not be what it seems. Part of my university education alerted me to the various ways in which ‘science’ had been and continued to be used to shape cultures and societies (this was before universities became indoctrination centers for the official narratives). My curiosity was always active, but after I left school and became a mother a lot of that got put on the back burner as my time and energy were monopolized by full time work, home maintenance and child rearing.
When my child got a little older and no longer needed (nor wanted) much of my attention I took up painting again and combined this with the wonders of the internet. I began with forbidden archeology and the mysteries of Egypt – these were fascinating to me as I marveled at all that was hidden from mainstream education. Most of all I wondered why. Why was the scope of education so repetitive and boring when there were so many things they could be bringing to students!?
After I ventured down those paths I began to look at the terror attacks of 9/11.
9/11 led me somehow to MKUltra, and then the Franklin Cover-Up. Then Operation Paperclip, Aaron Russo, Bill Cooper, Max Igan, Alex Jones, Central Banking, etc etc. In short I started to see the Matrix, and was beginning to learn how to read it.
After I gorged myself on those topics I went deeper and began listening to speakers and lecturers in biology, psychology, history, economics, religion, mathematics, energy – these things were often way above my head but over the years I learned the vocabulary, then the theories, the findings and finally could see the interconnectedness of these disciplines. In fact I began to feel that I saw the interconnectedness better than any of the individual specialists I was learning from. They were siloed, myopic. I wasn’t.
The frustration I began to encounter was that I had absolutely nowhere to discuss any of this. Inside I was very well read and had so many intellectual curiosities but in day-to-day life I was Mom, wife, daughter, pal, office drone who should know her place and stop talking about “weird, boring, irrelevant scary” things and stick to picking out tiles for the new bathroom or admiring the tiles someone else had recently installed.
Thankfully at that time I still found common ground with most people in my life. Indeed we *could* still talk about bathroom tiles … or vacations, movies, music, cooking, home renovation projects, etc without any trouble. For a long while I managed my ‘double life’ keeping my research life private like a spy would have to do but still enjoying the company of friends, family and society.
As I learned more I could see more patterns - I could project into the future, so to speak. That’s when things became troublesome for me. I felt I could see where society was heading and this naturally affected the way I planned, the way I communicated. It put up barriers between me and the people around me though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. All I knew was that sometimes, for seemingly no reason, I would trigger people into blank stares or shock or (worst of all) “concern” for my well being. You see, I kept forgetting that they didn’t know the things I knew. I must have sounded like an alien to them, or a stranger, or even just a worry wart who was harshing their mellow instead of cheering them on for taking out a reverse mortgage (or some such dangerous credit instrument.)
Believe me, many were the times I’d stop and ask myself if I was the problem. Was I being indoctrinated into some kind of cult or being groomed into semi-insanity through the media I was consuming? Because although I felt perfectly sane I could feel a shift happening – a divide opening up between myself and the culture I’d always lived in and thrived on. To this day I perform these reality checks. I ask “What do I know *for sure?*” Back then the answers ranged from “I know house prices are skyrocketing for no valid reason and this is Big Trouble.” Or “I know the culture is beginning to become toxic.” Or “I know they are actively eliminating Christianity from the public sphere.” Or “I know they are lying about 9/11 and if they’ll lie about that what won’t they lie about?” I also knew that 99% of the people around me couldn’t see any of that, and they didn’t want to see.
In 2022, amid all the noise and fearmongering the answer which keeps me grounded is:
“I know that they are trying to force people to take an experimental genetic therapy and I know they are censoring a great deal of information and opinion.”
That’s enough for me to understand that my questioning mind is still sane and my concern is righteous.
Okay – what does any of this have to do with me not producing videos at the moment?
The problem is twofold.
1. It’s been years now since I have had the chance to paint, listen and learn.
Over the past 4 years my well of inspiration has run dry as I’ve chased the news and put together timely videos. When I began publishing deep dives I was still nourished by all those years of immersing myself in the words and ideas of learned people combined with my original findings and linkages. Now, I am saturated by mere sound bites –opinion columns, tweets and tabloid videos. Those are not nourishment, those are vending machine snacks. Without wanting to sound over-dramatic the word that comes to mind when I think about all of this is ‘poisoned.’
In short: I first need to detox, then take time to feed my mind, soul and body better intellectual and spiritual food. I am doing that now and loving it. (see pic for my current endeavours)
2. Once again I seem to be alone in my understanding of what’s going on. That’s not to say that I’m right and everyone else is wrong, it’s meant to say that my own perspective on it is not the same as others.’ More and more lately my ‘take’ on things is at odds with the general consensus on every side. Further, since I am a genuine person who doesn’t like to paper-over my feelings for the sake of going-along, I am finding it difficult to produce work that will inform/uplift my audience. Judging from the letters I receive I don’t believe people need any more speculation or bad news and in some ways that’s all I’d have to offer if I were to go online with my thoughts. In short: I don’t know what to say or how to say it right now.
Finally I will admit that there are personal reasons why I am silent at the moment. I would like to live my life in accordance with my inner guidance system but for various reasons I can’t move forward and I’m struggling to chart a course. I am working to overcome that but man oh man these are some tricky waters to navigate. Some days I feel I might drown, others I sail on calm seas. I’m sure you all share this experience.
I will return with videos as soon as I can.
In the meantime I’m keeping my website updated with material from around the internet and hope you’ll find those items informative and interesting.
God bless you all.
Polly
265
reviews
questan1913
30 Jan 2022
I woke up in the early nineties when I was beginning to read again and became exposed to conservative ideas by Lew Rockwell's blog along with many of the sources you cite as being early influencers. I discovered you seven or eight years ago and was astonished at the breadth of your grasp of political reality as I saw everything in the same way but you were, as a political analyst far above anyone else. The way you were able to connect the dots and expose every conspiracy you unearthed in such depth and detail because of your passion and unerring internal homing device was mind blowing. If you have been able to archive the results of your investigations it might be nice to publish someday in the future when we aren't living "1984" on steroids. I know you are pleased by the convoy demonstration. Rejoice! Finally, people are waking up!! You have made a difference Polly!
Howard Reindel
30 Jan 2022
Polly
Thanks for all you are doing. What can we Americans do to help the support the truckers of Canada.
Keep up the good work. Thanks again
Thanks for all you are doing. What can we Americans do to help the support the truckers of Canada.
Keep up the good work. Thanks again
Yvonne Clarke
30 Jan 2022
Dearest Polly, I call you that because I think of you as a treasured friend, I feel I must have spent previous life times with you. You have kept me and many others sane these last few years. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for that. I am 72 and have spent nearly all of those years in a form of isolation due to my so called "out there" views. God sent you and a couple of others to my aid when I called out for others of like mind to come my way. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your hard work and the hours and hours of your time. It is now time to spoil yourself and do whatever makes you happy. God will Bless you for all the days of your life. You have meant so much to so many. Until we meet again be well, take care and know that you are loved and appreciated more than you will ever know. ❤ 💜🙏🙏
Vicki Harrison
29 Jan 2022
Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.....Listen for His voice. God Bless You Always. Thank you for the update. We all need to pray without ceasing....We all need to listen for His voice.
David Berg
29 Jan 2022
What I feel listening to you Amazing Polly is encouraged. You speak from the heart, you are genuine, you aim to keep things simple and you are not scared to share your thoughts with the camera. please continue to simply be your own good - and unique- self. You are an inspiration to many I think. And a brave soul.
Mary Born
29 Jan 2022
Recharging one's batteries is how one avoids burnout. Good for you! Prayers for you. The "great awakening" is here. You've certainly done your part. I found this video helpful: https://youtu.be/P4zvmBsrJjw