It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses an 'I'
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t uploaded a video in a couple of weeks. I’m writing now to ask you to be patient with me and to tell you that I’m doing okay, not to worry. In this letter to you I’d like to explain a few things and give you a peek into my past and present. I’ve been asked many times about my research methods, and it’s been speculated here and there on the internet that I must have partners because, quote, “there’s no way she can do that all by herself.” Well, here’s the truth.
I do work alone and except for the odd article here and there that people have sent me via email I get my own leads and follow my own instincts to gather every piece of information that I use in my videos. I make all the graphics and do all the editing. Personally I don’t see why this is so unbelievable to anyone. I think the reason it may seem so is because I can draw on a wealth of material quite quickly and I have a wide range of knowledge in a variety of subject areas across a fairly long span of history. This is because of my past habits, not necessarily because of any unique methods of research.
Before I began posting videos in about March 2016 I had been an artist – a painter. Visual artists can tell you that this work is somewhat meditative and as such it is conducive to learning. While my hands and a part of my brain were occupied by the canvas I would listen to audiobooks, interviews and lectures on a wide variety of topics. It so happened that I had always been interested in ‘high weirdness’ so at first those were the topics I gravitated to before moving on to try to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me.
But I have to go back in time for a minute.
As a girl of 12 or 13 I read Erich Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods which blew my mind. A couple of years later I got to hear a friend’s family discussions about the unusual elements of the Kennedy Assassination and the Moon Landings which introduced me to the idea that recent history might not be what it seems. Part of my university education alerted me to the various ways in which ‘science’ had been and continued to be used to shape cultures and societies (this was before universities became indoctrination centers for the official narratives). My curiosity was always active, but after I left school and became a mother a lot of that got put on the back burner as my time and energy were monopolized by full time work, home maintenance and child rearing.
When my child got a little older and no longer needed (nor wanted) much of my attention I took up painting again and combined this with the wonders of the internet. I began with forbidden archeology and the mysteries of Egypt – these were fascinating to me as I marveled at all that was hidden from mainstream education. Most of all I wondered why. Why was the scope of education so repetitive and boring when there were so many things they could be bringing to students!?
After I ventured down those paths I began to look at the terror attacks of 9/11.
9/11 led me somehow to MKUltra, and then the Franklin Cover-Up. Then Operation Paperclip, Aaron Russo, Bill Cooper, Max Igan, Alex Jones, Central Banking, etc etc. In short I started to see the Matrix, and was beginning to learn how to read it.
After I gorged myself on those topics I went deeper and began listening to speakers and lecturers in biology, psychology, history, economics, religion, mathematics, energy – these things were often way above my head but over the years I learned the vocabulary, then the theories, the findings and finally could see the interconnectedness of these disciplines. In fact I began to feel that I saw the interconnectedness better than any of the individual specialists I was learning from. They were siloed, myopic. I wasn’t.
The frustration I began to encounter was that I had absolutely nowhere to discuss any of this. Inside I was very well read and had so many intellectual curiosities but in day-to-day life I was Mom, wife, daughter, pal, office drone who should know her place and stop talking about “weird, boring, irrelevant scary” things and stick to picking out tiles for the new bathroom or admiring the tiles someone else had recently installed.
Thankfully at that time I still found common ground with most people in my life. Indeed we *could* still talk about bathroom tiles … or vacations, movies, music, cooking, home renovation projects, etc without any trouble. For a long while I managed my ‘double life’ keeping my research life private like a spy would have to do but still enjoying the company of friends, family and society.
As I learned more I could see more patterns - I could project into the future, so to speak. That’s when things became troublesome for me. I felt I could see where society was heading and this naturally affected the way I planned, the way I communicated. It put up barriers between me and the people around me though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. All I knew was that sometimes, for seemingly no reason, I would trigger people into blank stares or shock or (worst of all) “concern” for my well being. You see, I kept forgetting that they didn’t know the things I knew. I must have sounded like an alien to them, or a stranger, or even just a worry wart who was harshing their mellow instead of cheering them on for taking out a reverse mortgage (or some such dangerous credit instrument.)
Believe me, many were the times I’d stop and ask myself if I was the problem. Was I being indoctrinated into some kind of cult or being groomed into semi-insanity through the media I was consuming? Because although I felt perfectly sane I could feel a shift happening – a divide opening up between myself and the culture I’d always lived in and thrived on. To this day I perform these reality checks. I ask “What do I know *for sure?*” Back then the answers ranged from “I know house prices are skyrocketing for no valid reason and this is Big Trouble.” Or “I know the culture is beginning to become toxic.” Or “I know they are actively eliminating Christianity from the public sphere.” Or “I know they are lying about 9/11 and if they’ll lie about that what won’t they lie about?” I also knew that 99% of the people around me couldn’t see any of that, and they didn’t want to see.
In 2022, amid all the noise and fearmongering the answer which keeps me grounded is:
“I know that they are trying to force people to take an experimental genetic therapy and I know they are censoring a great deal of information and opinion.”
That’s enough for me to understand that my questioning mind is still sane and my concern is righteous.
Okay – what does any of this have to do with me not producing videos at the moment?
The problem is twofold.
1. It’s been years now since I have had the chance to paint, listen and learn.
Over the past 4 years my well of inspiration has run dry as I’ve chased the news and put together timely videos. When I began publishing deep dives I was still nourished by all those years of immersing myself in the words and ideas of learned people combined with my original findings and linkages. Now, I am saturated by mere sound bites –opinion columns, tweets and tabloid videos. Those are not nourishment, those are vending machine snacks. Without wanting to sound over-dramatic the word that comes to mind when I think about all of this is ‘poisoned.’
In short: I first need to detox, then take time to feed my mind, soul and body better intellectual and spiritual food. I am doing that now and loving it. (see pic for my current endeavours)
2. Once again I seem to be alone in my understanding of what’s going on. That’s not to say that I’m right and everyone else is wrong, it’s meant to say that my own perspective on it is not the same as others.’ More and more lately my ‘take’ on things is at odds with the general consensus on every side. Further, since I am a genuine person who doesn’t like to paper-over my feelings for the sake of going-along, I am finding it difficult to produce work that will inform/uplift my audience. Judging from the letters I receive I don’t believe people need any more speculation or bad news and in some ways that’s all I’d have to offer if I were to go online with my thoughts. In short: I don’t know what to say or how to say it right now.
Finally I will admit that there are personal reasons why I am silent at the moment. I would like to live my life in accordance with my inner guidance system but for various reasons I can’t move forward and I’m struggling to chart a course. I am working to overcome that but man oh man these are some tricky waters to navigate. Some days I feel I might drown, others I sail on calm seas. I’m sure you all share this experience.
I will return with videos as soon as I can.
In the meantime I’m keeping my website updated with material from around the internet and hope you’ll find those items informative and interesting.
God bless you all.
Polly
265
reviews
Tara
28 Jan 2022
Hi Polly,
The letter was so insightful you are absolutely right. I am one of those so called deep divers folks think I have lost my mind and this has been going on most of my life. I am not a smart as you. But I do Absorb everything like a sponge. My problem is getting it back out. I Love learning and although my learning disability stops me from trying to say things for others to understand. I tell everyone who will listen. Follow Amazing Polly what she said is what I am trying to explain. You are smart well educated and informed. There are things that just come natural to some. I didn’t learn to read until 5th grade. It may take me longer but my natural curiosity keeps me going. You know in you heart mind and soul when things are not right. I have those same qualities on a much lower slower level. I Thank God for your work. You probably don’t realize the people you have helped the magnitude of your work is truly amazing. Personal Note talking to my car insurance guy today he sure wasn’t here in the US. Hard to understand but I kept my patience intact until he started talking about internet this signing documents on my phone tablet laptop getting my proof by just getting on the internet. That’s when I sorta lost it and said listen sir I am old school my pencil paper and eraser was my internet. Kind of of topic. I just want to Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do. God Bless you and take all the time you need.
The letter was so insightful you are absolutely right. I am one of those so called deep divers folks think I have lost my mind and this has been going on most of my life. I am not a smart as you. But I do Absorb everything like a sponge. My problem is getting it back out. I Love learning and although my learning disability stops me from trying to say things for others to understand. I tell everyone who will listen. Follow Amazing Polly what she said is what I am trying to explain. You are smart well educated and informed. There are things that just come natural to some. I didn’t learn to read until 5th grade. It may take me longer but my natural curiosity keeps me going. You know in you heart mind and soul when things are not right. I have those same qualities on a much lower slower level. I Thank God for your work. You probably don’t realize the people you have helped the magnitude of your work is truly amazing. Personal Note talking to my car insurance guy today he sure wasn’t here in the US. Hard to understand but I kept my patience intact until he started talking about internet this signing documents on my phone tablet laptop getting my proof by just getting on the internet. That’s when I sorta lost it and said listen sir I am old school my pencil paper and eraser was my internet. Kind of of topic. I just want to Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do. God Bless you and take all the time you need.
Pam
28 Jan 2022
Polly, I have only been following about a year and to be honest I will greatly miss your perspective, your challenges and your gentle yet unyielding spirit. You truly make this world a better place. Relax, enjoy, regroup, detox, find your passions and follow your inner voice. I certainly hope you are gone long. Until then I shall go back and listen to your "old" stuff and chew on the newer stuff again. Thank you for your voice being a bit of a lighthouse for we the people trying to make heads or tails of this insanity. Peace to you.
Pam Smith
Pam Smith
Anne Scambler
28 Jan 2022
Hi Polly,
Just to say you have many followers over here in England and the UK, We all wish you well and miss you, Must be hard ive thought it many times listening to you, that to see that far down the rabbit hole must be an enormous strain on the mind and body, Nevertheless you seem driven to do this digging and sharing and I for one have learnt much from you so when you feel ready please come back. I understand as a fellow artist how sometimes you must take a break to think about and do other things that are not so taxing. There must always be time to heal. Thankyou from a Brit for all that you've achieved. May the truckers of Canada shine the light forward, coz I bet they follow you as well. Much Love,,,
Just to say you have many followers over here in England and the UK, We all wish you well and miss you, Must be hard ive thought it many times listening to you, that to see that far down the rabbit hole must be an enormous strain on the mind and body, Nevertheless you seem driven to do this digging and sharing and I for one have learnt much from you so when you feel ready please come back. I understand as a fellow artist how sometimes you must take a break to think about and do other things that are not so taxing. There must always be time to heal. Thankyou from a Brit for all that you've achieved. May the truckers of Canada shine the light forward, coz I bet they follow you as well. Much Love,,,
April
28 Jan 2022
Hi Polly,
Additionally...
Many of us are going through this type of "paralysis", and it is very appropriate right now. Things are not going back, and we must get used
to these uncomfortable shoes we are walking in now.
I thank God for my critical thinking, and right now it is difficult to find people who will have honest conversations about any of this. It's as though a separation is happening on God's terms.
I have been accused of being "too deep" about this stuff, which is a judgment, and I take it on. Of course, I want to try to believe what my friend says, so I try to make them right by questioning things I am certain of. But this is ridiculous. I find things fascinating, so I ask God for the courage to keep going, sometimes by myself, but I know I am loved.
It is not isolating to watch and pray and be available for The Truth.
It is a time to Trust God and let Him comfort me. We are in the Last Days. Be of Courage!
"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves:
be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves."
Matt 10:16 KJV
Thank you for all your beautiful work!
Additionally...
Many of us are going through this type of "paralysis", and it is very appropriate right now. Things are not going back, and we must get used
to these uncomfortable shoes we are walking in now.
I thank God for my critical thinking, and right now it is difficult to find people who will have honest conversations about any of this. It's as though a separation is happening on God's terms.
I have been accused of being "too deep" about this stuff, which is a judgment, and I take it on. Of course, I want to try to believe what my friend says, so I try to make them right by questioning things I am certain of. But this is ridiculous. I find things fascinating, so I ask God for the courage to keep going, sometimes by myself, but I know I am loved.
It is not isolating to watch and pray and be available for The Truth.
It is a time to Trust God and let Him comfort me. We are in the Last Days. Be of Courage!
"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves:
be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves."
Matt 10:16 KJV
Thank you for all your beautiful work!
TreeWhisperer
28 Jan 2022
Dear Polly, thanks for sharing your current status, I regularly check your site for new content and had noticed you’d been quiet for a little while. Thankyou for sharing your history because that was truly interesting and I’d wondered how you had come to this place of incredible research and analysis. It made total sense that you are an artist, that has always shone through your works. I had been awake to some degree for many years and moved off grid in my remote country of Australia twenty years ago with an inner knowing that something was coming, I also devoted my life to raising four beautiful children in the bush and put my own artistic life on hold to a degree. Living remote, access to digital world only really occurred about five years ago for me so I had not been aware that people were deep diving into the 911s and so on. The plandemic for me, like so many was a wake up call and I will be forever thankful to an Aussie nurse that commented on Facebook to look you up. I devoured all your works and was thrust into a fast pace awakening that I’m still spinning from. Fortunately the last two years I have had time to both research and be calm and quiet, balancing the seasons and nature loving I thrive in and yet looking into this world of dystopia. But lately, like you I’m feeling stuck on how to express, noticed I’m tired of the media snack bait. Thankyou and blessings for your personal revival, I am forever grateful for the insights and booms. We will endure ❤️
Louis Jagoe
28 Jan 2022
Wow Polly, you are so smart, genuine and articulate... I found this update because I was concerned for not having heard from you. I would so hate to loose your input on things... I have been wondering for some time about the toll this work is having on you... I feel your pain. I have lived a very similar path of discovery even starting decades ago with Chariot of the Gods... also enjoy a wide range of research for decades with no one to talk to... some family members say... don't talk about molecules people will think you are weird..ha ..that ship has sailed... You have a very special talent for correlating and presenting these topics ..... and I certainly understand the necessity to regroup and recharge your life force..... Don't think you need to apolgize for reporting the negative nature of the message...it is vitally important... you are an informer and not a superficial person...
I'm excited to learn you are an artist and not surprised...Please share some of your work...old and new. I'm a bit of an inventor and love using artists and graphic arts in some of my endeavors...
You are not alone, you are not crazy, your work is very important and many of us appreciate you to the max... "nobody does it better" ... great song... hope music is an important part of your life.
Big Love to Polly ....
I'm excited to learn you are an artist and not surprised...Please share some of your work...old and new. I'm a bit of an inventor and love using artists and graphic arts in some of my endeavors...
You are not alone, you are not crazy, your work is very important and many of us appreciate you to the max... "nobody does it better" ... great song... hope music is an important part of your life.
Big Love to Polly ....