It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses an 'I'
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t uploaded a video in a couple of weeks. I’m writing now to ask you to be patient with me and to tell you that I’m doing okay, not to worry. In this letter to you I’d like to explain a few things and give you a peek into my past and present. I’ve been asked many times about my research methods, and it’s been speculated here and there on the internet that I must have partners because, quote, “there’s no way she can do that all by herself.” Well, here’s the truth.
I do work alone and except for the odd article here and there that people have sent me via email I get my own leads and follow my own instincts to gather every piece of information that I use in my videos. I make all the graphics and do all the editing. Personally I don’t see why this is so unbelievable to anyone. I think the reason it may seem so is because I can draw on a wealth of material quite quickly and I have a wide range of knowledge in a variety of subject areas across a fairly long span of history. This is because of my past habits, not necessarily because of any unique methods of research.
Before I began posting videos in about March 2016 I had been an artist – a painter. Visual artists can tell you that this work is somewhat meditative and as such it is conducive to learning. While my hands and a part of my brain were occupied by the canvas I would listen to audiobooks, interviews and lectures on a wide variety of topics. It so happened that I had always been interested in ‘high weirdness’ so at first those were the topics I gravitated to before moving on to try to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me.
But I have to go back in time for a minute.
As a girl of 12 or 13 I read Erich Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods which blew my mind. A couple of years later I got to hear a friend’s family discussions about the unusual elements of the Kennedy Assassination and the Moon Landings which introduced me to the idea that recent history might not be what it seems. Part of my university education alerted me to the various ways in which ‘science’ had been and continued to be used to shape cultures and societies (this was before universities became indoctrination centers for the official narratives). My curiosity was always active, but after I left school and became a mother a lot of that got put on the back burner as my time and energy were monopolized by full time work, home maintenance and child rearing.
When my child got a little older and no longer needed (nor wanted) much of my attention I took up painting again and combined this with the wonders of the internet. I began with forbidden archeology and the mysteries of Egypt – these were fascinating to me as I marveled at all that was hidden from mainstream education. Most of all I wondered why. Why was the scope of education so repetitive and boring when there were so many things they could be bringing to students!?
After I ventured down those paths I began to look at the terror attacks of 9/11.
9/11 led me somehow to MKUltra, and then the Franklin Cover-Up. Then Operation Paperclip, Aaron Russo, Bill Cooper, Max Igan, Alex Jones, Central Banking, etc etc. In short I started to see the Matrix, and was beginning to learn how to read it.
After I gorged myself on those topics I went deeper and began listening to speakers and lecturers in biology, psychology, history, economics, religion, mathematics, energy – these things were often way above my head but over the years I learned the vocabulary, then the theories, the findings and finally could see the interconnectedness of these disciplines. In fact I began to feel that I saw the interconnectedness better than any of the individual specialists I was learning from. They were siloed, myopic. I wasn’t.
The frustration I began to encounter was that I had absolutely nowhere to discuss any of this. Inside I was very well read and had so many intellectual curiosities but in day-to-day life I was Mom, wife, daughter, pal, office drone who should know her place and stop talking about “weird, boring, irrelevant scary” things and stick to picking out tiles for the new bathroom or admiring the tiles someone else had recently installed.
Thankfully at that time I still found common ground with most people in my life. Indeed we *could* still talk about bathroom tiles … or vacations, movies, music, cooking, home renovation projects, etc without any trouble. For a long while I managed my ‘double life’ keeping my research life private like a spy would have to do but still enjoying the company of friends, family and society.
As I learned more I could see more patterns - I could project into the future, so to speak. That’s when things became troublesome for me. I felt I could see where society was heading and this naturally affected the way I planned, the way I communicated. It put up barriers between me and the people around me though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. All I knew was that sometimes, for seemingly no reason, I would trigger people into blank stares or shock or (worst of all) “concern” for my well being. You see, I kept forgetting that they didn’t know the things I knew. I must have sounded like an alien to them, or a stranger, or even just a worry wart who was harshing their mellow instead of cheering them on for taking out a reverse mortgage (or some such dangerous credit instrument.)
Believe me, many were the times I’d stop and ask myself if I was the problem. Was I being indoctrinated into some kind of cult or being groomed into semi-insanity through the media I was consuming? Because although I felt perfectly sane I could feel a shift happening – a divide opening up between myself and the culture I’d always lived in and thrived on. To this day I perform these reality checks. I ask “What do I know *for sure?*” Back then the answers ranged from “I know house prices are skyrocketing for no valid reason and this is Big Trouble.” Or “I know the culture is beginning to become toxic.” Or “I know they are actively eliminating Christianity from the public sphere.” Or “I know they are lying about 9/11 and if they’ll lie about that what won’t they lie about?” I also knew that 99% of the people around me couldn’t see any of that, and they didn’t want to see.
In 2022, amid all the noise and fearmongering the answer which keeps me grounded is:
“I know that they are trying to force people to take an experimental genetic therapy and I know they are censoring a great deal of information and opinion.”
That’s enough for me to understand that my questioning mind is still sane and my concern is righteous.
Okay – what does any of this have to do with me not producing videos at the moment?
The problem is twofold.
1. It’s been years now since I have had the chance to paint, listen and learn.
Over the past 4 years my well of inspiration has run dry as I’ve chased the news and put together timely videos. When I began publishing deep dives I was still nourished by all those years of immersing myself in the words and ideas of learned people combined with my original findings and linkages. Now, I am saturated by mere sound bites –opinion columns, tweets and tabloid videos. Those are not nourishment, those are vending machine snacks. Without wanting to sound over-dramatic the word that comes to mind when I think about all of this is ‘poisoned.’
In short: I first need to detox, then take time to feed my mind, soul and body better intellectual and spiritual food. I am doing that now and loving it. (see pic for my current endeavours)
2. Once again I seem to be alone in my understanding of what’s going on. That’s not to say that I’m right and everyone else is wrong, it’s meant to say that my own perspective on it is not the same as others.’ More and more lately my ‘take’ on things is at odds with the general consensus on every side. Further, since I am a genuine person who doesn’t like to paper-over my feelings for the sake of going-along, I am finding it difficult to produce work that will inform/uplift my audience. Judging from the letters I receive I don’t believe people need any more speculation or bad news and in some ways that’s all I’d have to offer if I were to go online with my thoughts. In short: I don’t know what to say or how to say it right now.
Finally I will admit that there are personal reasons why I am silent at the moment. I would like to live my life in accordance with my inner guidance system but for various reasons I can’t move forward and I’m struggling to chart a course. I am working to overcome that but man oh man these are some tricky waters to navigate. Some days I feel I might drown, others I sail on calm seas. I’m sure you all share this experience.
I will return with videos as soon as I can.
In the meantime I’m keeping my website updated with material from around the internet and hope you’ll find those items informative and interesting.
God bless you all.
Polly
265
reviews
Joe
25 Jan 2022
Hang in there. We appreciate what you do, but we can't expect you to do it always at the cost of losing yourself. Enjoy your time off.
Theresa King
25 Jan 2022
Thank you Polly .....you helped me get thru these last (almost) 2 years. Love your work and always look forward to it. Have fun painting ....something I have been trying to keep at...although now with finally getting a job it is hard to find the time. Regards, Theresa
Christa
25 Jan 2022
Polly, your life story is so similar to mine, except for the artist part (I have no such talent.) My education was in finance and accounting and I worked as an auditor before becoming a mother of four. I have always been a very curious person, and while my friends were sharing books by Danielle Steele, I preferred books like The Creature From Jekyll Island (which is about the origins of the Federal Reserve system.). I am naturally curious and always asked questions which no one could answer (like, why was Switzerland allowed to stay out of both world wars? and why do that banners say Corporation of the United States of America? for example.) Anyway, I can relate to your isolation and difficulty in communicating with others who are not ready or able to see and hear the truth. My children are growing up, and not as needy anymore, so my research in recent years stemmed from a desire to arm them with truth as they encountered communist teachers and brainwashing in school. They are all strong and able to push back against the agenda, armed with knowledge. I tell you this to encourage you to keep going. You have done amazing work and I only found you less than a year ago. I have shared some of your videos with friends who are starting to awaken because of how bad things are. Even your old stuff is new to them! So many things I saw during my auditing years concerned me - US corporations being taken over by foreign companies, foreign people being brought in to lead them. Keep going
Your Granny
25 Jan 2022
Knowin' ain't understandin',...scientists, engineers, smart dogs, physicians, autistic savants, and the dim-witted, all are good at knowing (data in/data out). Appreciable perception on the other hand, well...I think you can see where I'm going. Sun Tzu "If you know your enemy and know yourself,..." really means...understand the monster.
Thanks for all your work.
Thanks for all your work.
Lisa Foto
25 Jan 2022
Great to get an update. I kept checking to see if you had posted anything new. So this answers all those questions. Your insight and research has all been pretty amazing. Obviously very talented and educated in what you are passionate about. I’ve appreciated your insight and all your thoughtful commentary. Like you, I wonder where this is all going? Right is looked at as wrong and wrong is looked at as right. I’ve often wondered about the movie “The Wizard of Oz”. Is there a man behind the curtain? Kind of appears sometimes like there is. Is it all an illusion? I’m a believer in God and Jesus Christ. I’m thinking there is more good vs. evil in this world than I ever suspected. Much more unseen than seen. I’ve reflected a lot on history and wonder now, is this just our generations plight, or is this truly the end? I’m sure in years passed the people thought clearly it had to be the end too. But things would rally and people brought to justice, etc. God must really grieve when he sees this kind of evil. He must also grieve at those that still don’t seek Him. I grieve for what kind of world is going to be left for this next generation? The end sometimes does seem near. Challenging as to how that plays out for me? Relieved to know that you are just fine. I’m fine too, but things in our world for sure are different than they once were. Or possibly it was like this all along and I just couldn’t see it?
Lisa (United States)
Lisa (United States)
Elizabeth Norris
25 Jan 2022
Dear Polly,
As a Canadian woman who is close to you in age and therefore in some life experience (attended university when you could still learn something there), I am very grateful for your efforts to understand the world and put the pieces together. I also think a lot and make every effort to understand the world. However, I do sometimes wonder whether we, in our efforts to investigate, are actually replicating Eve's desire for the "knowledge of good and evil"...ie. are there some things that we are better off not knowing? how do we search for truth without overstepping into God's territory? Also, in our current lockdown reality, we are so easily cut off from those parts of our soul that nourish us...in your case it's art, in mine it's choral singing...even when we do our best to fight to retain them. So, good for you, for listening to yourself and for taking time to create...To every thing there is at time and season under heaven.
Elizabeth
As a Canadian woman who is close to you in age and therefore in some life experience (attended university when you could still learn something there), I am very grateful for your efforts to understand the world and put the pieces together. I also think a lot and make every effort to understand the world. However, I do sometimes wonder whether we, in our efforts to investigate, are actually replicating Eve's desire for the "knowledge of good and evil"...ie. are there some things that we are better off not knowing? how do we search for truth without overstepping into God's territory? Also, in our current lockdown reality, we are so easily cut off from those parts of our soul that nourish us...in your case it's art, in mine it's choral singing...even when we do our best to fight to retain them. So, good for you, for listening to yourself and for taking time to create...To every thing there is at time and season under heaven.
Elizabeth