It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses an 'I'
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t uploaded a video in a couple of weeks. I’m writing now to ask you to be patient with me and to tell you that I’m doing okay, not to worry. In this letter to you I’d like to explain a few things and give you a peek into my past and present. I’ve been asked many times about my research methods, and it’s been speculated here and there on the internet that I must have partners because, quote, “there’s no way she can do that all by herself.” Well, here’s the truth.
I do work alone and except for the odd article here and there that people have sent me via email I get my own leads and follow my own instincts to gather every piece of information that I use in my videos. I make all the graphics and do all the editing. Personally I don’t see why this is so unbelievable to anyone. I think the reason it may seem so is because I can draw on a wealth of material quite quickly and I have a wide range of knowledge in a variety of subject areas across a fairly long span of history. This is because of my past habits, not necessarily because of any unique methods of research.
Before I began posting videos in about March 2016 I had been an artist – a painter. Visual artists can tell you that this work is somewhat meditative and as such it is conducive to learning. While my hands and a part of my brain were occupied by the canvas I would listen to audiobooks, interviews and lectures on a wide variety of topics. It so happened that I had always been interested in ‘high weirdness’ so at first those were the topics I gravitated to before moving on to try to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me.
But I have to go back in time for a minute.
As a girl of 12 or 13 I read Erich Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods which blew my mind. A couple of years later I got to hear a friend’s family discussions about the unusual elements of the Kennedy Assassination and the Moon Landings which introduced me to the idea that recent history might not be what it seems. Part of my university education alerted me to the various ways in which ‘science’ had been and continued to be used to shape cultures and societies (this was before universities became indoctrination centers for the official narratives). My curiosity was always active, but after I left school and became a mother a lot of that got put on the back burner as my time and energy were monopolized by full time work, home maintenance and child rearing.
When my child got a little older and no longer needed (nor wanted) much of my attention I took up painting again and combined this with the wonders of the internet. I began with forbidden archeology and the mysteries of Egypt – these were fascinating to me as I marveled at all that was hidden from mainstream education. Most of all I wondered why. Why was the scope of education so repetitive and boring when there were so many things they could be bringing to students!?
After I ventured down those paths I began to look at the terror attacks of 9/11.
9/11 led me somehow to MKUltra, and then the Franklin Cover-Up. Then Operation Paperclip, Aaron Russo, Bill Cooper, Max Igan, Alex Jones, Central Banking, etc etc. In short I started to see the Matrix, and was beginning to learn how to read it.
After I gorged myself on those topics I went deeper and began listening to speakers and lecturers in biology, psychology, history, economics, religion, mathematics, energy – these things were often way above my head but over the years I learned the vocabulary, then the theories, the findings and finally could see the interconnectedness of these disciplines. In fact I began to feel that I saw the interconnectedness better than any of the individual specialists I was learning from. They were siloed, myopic. I wasn’t.
The frustration I began to encounter was that I had absolutely nowhere to discuss any of this. Inside I was very well read and had so many intellectual curiosities but in day-to-day life I was Mom, wife, daughter, pal, office drone who should know her place and stop talking about “weird, boring, irrelevant scary” things and stick to picking out tiles for the new bathroom or admiring the tiles someone else had recently installed.
Thankfully at that time I still found common ground with most people in my life. Indeed we *could* still talk about bathroom tiles … or vacations, movies, music, cooking, home renovation projects, etc without any trouble. For a long while I managed my ‘double life’ keeping my research life private like a spy would have to do but still enjoying the company of friends, family and society.
As I learned more I could see more patterns - I could project into the future, so to speak. That’s when things became troublesome for me. I felt I could see where society was heading and this naturally affected the way I planned, the way I communicated. It put up barriers between me and the people around me though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. All I knew was that sometimes, for seemingly no reason, I would trigger people into blank stares or shock or (worst of all) “concern” for my well being. You see, I kept forgetting that they didn’t know the things I knew. I must have sounded like an alien to them, or a stranger, or even just a worry wart who was harshing their mellow instead of cheering them on for taking out a reverse mortgage (or some such dangerous credit instrument.)
Believe me, many were the times I’d stop and ask myself if I was the problem. Was I being indoctrinated into some kind of cult or being groomed into semi-insanity through the media I was consuming? Because although I felt perfectly sane I could feel a shift happening – a divide opening up between myself and the culture I’d always lived in and thrived on. To this day I perform these reality checks. I ask “What do I know *for sure?*” Back then the answers ranged from “I know house prices are skyrocketing for no valid reason and this is Big Trouble.” Or “I know the culture is beginning to become toxic.” Or “I know they are actively eliminating Christianity from the public sphere.” Or “I know they are lying about 9/11 and if they’ll lie about that what won’t they lie about?” I also knew that 99% of the people around me couldn’t see any of that, and they didn’t want to see.
In 2022, amid all the noise and fearmongering the answer which keeps me grounded is:
“I know that they are trying to force people to take an experimental genetic therapy and I know they are censoring a great deal of information and opinion.”
That’s enough for me to understand that my questioning mind is still sane and my concern is righteous.
Okay – what does any of this have to do with me not producing videos at the moment?
The problem is twofold.
1. It’s been years now since I have had the chance to paint, listen and learn.
Over the past 4 years my well of inspiration has run dry as I’ve chased the news and put together timely videos. When I began publishing deep dives I was still nourished by all those years of immersing myself in the words and ideas of learned people combined with my original findings and linkages. Now, I am saturated by mere sound bites –opinion columns, tweets and tabloid videos. Those are not nourishment, those are vending machine snacks. Without wanting to sound over-dramatic the word that comes to mind when I think about all of this is ‘poisoned.’
In short: I first need to detox, then take time to feed my mind, soul and body better intellectual and spiritual food. I am doing that now and loving it. (see pic for my current endeavours)
2. Once again I seem to be alone in my understanding of what’s going on. That’s not to say that I’m right and everyone else is wrong, it’s meant to say that my own perspective on it is not the same as others.’ More and more lately my ‘take’ on things is at odds with the general consensus on every side. Further, since I am a genuine person who doesn’t like to paper-over my feelings for the sake of going-along, I am finding it difficult to produce work that will inform/uplift my audience. Judging from the letters I receive I don’t believe people need any more speculation or bad news and in some ways that’s all I’d have to offer if I were to go online with my thoughts. In short: I don’t know what to say or how to say it right now.
Finally I will admit that there are personal reasons why I am silent at the moment. I would like to live my life in accordance with my inner guidance system but for various reasons I can’t move forward and I’m struggling to chart a course. I am working to overcome that but man oh man these are some tricky waters to navigate. Some days I feel I might drown, others I sail on calm seas. I’m sure you all share this experience.
I will return with videos as soon as I can.
In the meantime I’m keeping my website updated with material from around the internet and hope you’ll find those items informative and interesting.
God bless you all.
Polly
265
reviews
Patti Hoeks
05 Feb 2022
Polly, all except for me ever organizing enough to produce a video website, I felt like I was reading something I could have written about myself. It just seemed that you as well as so many others were already on to what I was seeing and then you taught me so much more. And your mannerisms are addicting for me to listen to. I contributed about a year ago about what I figured a two year subscription would cost to something like this. I am too lazy to go through the work you have done myself. As much as I have voiced my perceptions, I too, have been much more quiet lately as I have felt my contribution to truth is dragging me and others down. I hope it is just a season for us. But I see others starting to wake up and telling me now what I tried to tell them a while back. I try not to say I told you so but just enjoy their excitement that they are getting it. And your webcasts have been an amazing tool for me to help spread the truth. Thank you.
Cheryl King Morris
05 Feb 2022
Polly,
I have much empathy for you in this time of regeneration. I have enjoyed and watched most all of your deep dives from deep in the heart of TEXAS! I can’t thank you enough as I too suffer from an unquenchable curiosity and ask questions about everything, which is the Socratic method, all the time! I studied art history and loved archeology; a political seed was planted in a super class ‘required for graduation’ course in college! Like you, I have been paying attention a good while. JFK , Murrah Fed. Bldg. bombing, then 911, Earth Summit in 92/ Rio-where Agenda 21 came about; PNAC-where Arab Spring erupted. The well of truth and curiosity is bottomless. TAKE YOUR TIME. Be well. We are with you!
Many warm regards,
Cheryl
I have much empathy for you in this time of regeneration. I have enjoyed and watched most all of your deep dives from deep in the heart of TEXAS! I can’t thank you enough as I too suffer from an unquenchable curiosity and ask questions about everything, which is the Socratic method, all the time! I studied art history and loved archeology; a political seed was planted in a super class ‘required for graduation’ course in college! Like you, I have been paying attention a good while. JFK , Murrah Fed. Bldg. bombing, then 911, Earth Summit in 92/ Rio-where Agenda 21 came about; PNAC-where Arab Spring erupted. The well of truth and curiosity is bottomless. TAKE YOUR TIME. Be well. We are with you!
Many warm regards,
Cheryl
John
04 Feb 2022
God Bless You. Never married, no children, but always a lady around. We differ there. However I feel we see this life/ existence in a very similar way. I recognise your instincts screaming things are not what they seem or what we are being fed. I admire your deep analysis of the network that seems to behave under its own rules and following an agenda very diffent to the rest of humanity. https://strangeandsporty.wordpress.com/about/
Melissa Redford
04 Feb 2022
God Bless You Polly!! Thank you for everything that you've done to help open our eyes and educate us all on what's really going on. I've learned so much from you and you've put together so many "pieces" that I've had, but never quite fit together before. Your mind, body and soul need rest... praying for you every day!
Lynda Mc
04 Feb 2022
Dear Polly,
As I read your letter I thought you were writing about me. I now know we are not alone. This is a path that many of us have been drawn to. Some have chosen to ignore it some have taken up the walking stick and started walking the path. Your videos always make me feel good because it was as if that is what I needed to do!!! I though, still have child at home :o) so I am inspired by your tenacity. I know what is going to happen, many close to me think I am a little freaky. I just have to ability to get the birds eye view of the parade they are laying out before us by being able to gather bits of info and, bam, I see clearly what REALLY is happening. It may not be easy but those we can talk into seeing with new eyes and ears may be are only mission at the moment. Keep up the wonderful work of keeping yourself healthy and happy, it's the only way to see clearly and calmly. You are the GREAT Amazing Polly!!!
As I read your letter I thought you were writing about me. I now know we are not alone. This is a path that many of us have been drawn to. Some have chosen to ignore it some have taken up the walking stick and started walking the path. Your videos always make me feel good because it was as if that is what I needed to do!!! I though, still have child at home :o) so I am inspired by your tenacity. I know what is going to happen, many close to me think I am a little freaky. I just have to ability to get the birds eye view of the parade they are laying out before us by being able to gather bits of info and, bam, I see clearly what REALLY is happening. It may not be easy but those we can talk into seeing with new eyes and ears may be are only mission at the moment. Keep up the wonderful work of keeping yourself healthy and happy, it's the only way to see clearly and calmly. You are the GREAT Amazing Polly!!!
Terri
04 Feb 2022
Hello Polly and THANK YOU for all you have given us!!! I am glad you are so clear about your need to rejuvenate. There are so many out there doing daily podcasts who clearly have run out of anything new to say, who should be doing the same thing. We look forward to you popping back up from time to time, when you feel like it. You are a blessing to many. I feel certain you still have an important role to play in the 'big' world. We all have a 'little' world too. And that needs tending to as well. Good luck & God bless.