It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses an 'I'
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t uploaded a video in a couple of weeks. I’m writing now to ask you to be patient with me and to tell you that I’m doing okay, not to worry. In this letter to you I’d like to explain a few things and give you a peek into my past and present. I’ve been asked many times about my research methods, and it’s been speculated here and there on the internet that I must have partners because, quote, “there’s no way she can do that all by herself.” Well, here’s the truth.
I do work alone and except for the odd article here and there that people have sent me via email I get my own leads and follow my own instincts to gather every piece of information that I use in my videos. I make all the graphics and do all the editing. Personally I don’t see why this is so unbelievable to anyone. I think the reason it may seem so is because I can draw on a wealth of material quite quickly and I have a wide range of knowledge in a variety of subject areas across a fairly long span of history. This is because of my past habits, not necessarily because of any unique methods of research.
Before I began posting videos in about March 2016 I had been an artist – a painter. Visual artists can tell you that this work is somewhat meditative and as such it is conducive to learning. While my hands and a part of my brain were occupied by the canvas I would listen to audiobooks, interviews and lectures on a wide variety of topics. It so happened that I had always been interested in ‘high weirdness’ so at first those were the topics I gravitated to before moving on to try to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me.
But I have to go back in time for a minute.
As a girl of 12 or 13 I read Erich Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods which blew my mind. A couple of years later I got to hear a friend’s family discussions about the unusual elements of the Kennedy Assassination and the Moon Landings which introduced me to the idea that recent history might not be what it seems. Part of my university education alerted me to the various ways in which ‘science’ had been and continued to be used to shape cultures and societies (this was before universities became indoctrination centers for the official narratives). My curiosity was always active, but after I left school and became a mother a lot of that got put on the back burner as my time and energy were monopolized by full time work, home maintenance and child rearing.
When my child got a little older and no longer needed (nor wanted) much of my attention I took up painting again and combined this with the wonders of the internet. I began with forbidden archeology and the mysteries of Egypt – these were fascinating to me as I marveled at all that was hidden from mainstream education. Most of all I wondered why. Why was the scope of education so repetitive and boring when there were so many things they could be bringing to students!?
After I ventured down those paths I began to look at the terror attacks of 9/11.
9/11 led me somehow to MKUltra, and then the Franklin Cover-Up. Then Operation Paperclip, Aaron Russo, Bill Cooper, Max Igan, Alex Jones, Central Banking, etc etc. In short I started to see the Matrix, and was beginning to learn how to read it.
After I gorged myself on those topics I went deeper and began listening to speakers and lecturers in biology, psychology, history, economics, religion, mathematics, energy – these things were often way above my head but over the years I learned the vocabulary, then the theories, the findings and finally could see the interconnectedness of these disciplines. In fact I began to feel that I saw the interconnectedness better than any of the individual specialists I was learning from. They were siloed, myopic. I wasn’t.
The frustration I began to encounter was that I had absolutely nowhere to discuss any of this. Inside I was very well read and had so many intellectual curiosities but in day-to-day life I was Mom, wife, daughter, pal, office drone who should know her place and stop talking about “weird, boring, irrelevant scary” things and stick to picking out tiles for the new bathroom or admiring the tiles someone else had recently installed.
Thankfully at that time I still found common ground with most people in my life. Indeed we *could* still talk about bathroom tiles … or vacations, movies, music, cooking, home renovation projects, etc without any trouble. For a long while I managed my ‘double life’ keeping my research life private like a spy would have to do but still enjoying the company of friends, family and society.
As I learned more I could see more patterns - I could project into the future, so to speak. That’s when things became troublesome for me. I felt I could see where society was heading and this naturally affected the way I planned, the way I communicated. It put up barriers between me and the people around me though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. All I knew was that sometimes, for seemingly no reason, I would trigger people into blank stares or shock or (worst of all) “concern” for my well being. You see, I kept forgetting that they didn’t know the things I knew. I must have sounded like an alien to them, or a stranger, or even just a worry wart who was harshing their mellow instead of cheering them on for taking out a reverse mortgage (or some such dangerous credit instrument.)
Believe me, many were the times I’d stop and ask myself if I was the problem. Was I being indoctrinated into some kind of cult or being groomed into semi-insanity through the media I was consuming? Because although I felt perfectly sane I could feel a shift happening – a divide opening up between myself and the culture I’d always lived in and thrived on. To this day I perform these reality checks. I ask “What do I know *for sure?*” Back then the answers ranged from “I know house prices are skyrocketing for no valid reason and this is Big Trouble.” Or “I know the culture is beginning to become toxic.” Or “I know they are actively eliminating Christianity from the public sphere.” Or “I know they are lying about 9/11 and if they’ll lie about that what won’t they lie about?” I also knew that 99% of the people around me couldn’t see any of that, and they didn’t want to see.
In 2022, amid all the noise and fearmongering the answer which keeps me grounded is:
“I know that they are trying to force people to take an experimental genetic therapy and I know they are censoring a great deal of information and opinion.”
That’s enough for me to understand that my questioning mind is still sane and my concern is righteous.
Okay – what does any of this have to do with me not producing videos at the moment?
The problem is twofold.
1. It’s been years now since I have had the chance to paint, listen and learn.
Over the past 4 years my well of inspiration has run dry as I’ve chased the news and put together timely videos. When I began publishing deep dives I was still nourished by all those years of immersing myself in the words and ideas of learned people combined with my original findings and linkages. Now, I am saturated by mere sound bites –opinion columns, tweets and tabloid videos. Those are not nourishment, those are vending machine snacks. Without wanting to sound over-dramatic the word that comes to mind when I think about all of this is ‘poisoned.’
In short: I first need to detox, then take time to feed my mind, soul and body better intellectual and spiritual food. I am doing that now and loving it. (see pic for my current endeavours)
2. Once again I seem to be alone in my understanding of what’s going on. That’s not to say that I’m right and everyone else is wrong, it’s meant to say that my own perspective on it is not the same as others.’ More and more lately my ‘take’ on things is at odds with the general consensus on every side. Further, since I am a genuine person who doesn’t like to paper-over my feelings for the sake of going-along, I am finding it difficult to produce work that will inform/uplift my audience. Judging from the letters I receive I don’t believe people need any more speculation or bad news and in some ways that’s all I’d have to offer if I were to go online with my thoughts. In short: I don’t know what to say or how to say it right now.
Finally I will admit that there are personal reasons why I am silent at the moment. I would like to live my life in accordance with my inner guidance system but for various reasons I can’t move forward and I’m struggling to chart a course. I am working to overcome that but man oh man these are some tricky waters to navigate. Some days I feel I might drown, others I sail on calm seas. I’m sure you all share this experience.
I will return with videos as soon as I can.
In the meantime I’m keeping my website updated with material from around the internet and hope you’ll find those items informative and interesting.
God bless you all.
Polly
265
reviews
Lynn
28 Jan 2022
Dear Polly,
Really enjoyed reading your personal thoughts and thoughtful message❣❣❣
Thinking of you as we all look ahead to Spring and the glorious rebirth and renewal of life and Soul. Want to express my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for all your extraordinary work which has brought many profound truths to our lives❣ 2016 to present have been, for me, years of beautiful awakenings and yet, also years of somber realization - on sooo many levels. Life, and living it is the ultimate and sublime teacher❣ For the days and months ahead on your journey, I'm sending you special wishes for exhilarating moments, wonderful days of discovery, beauty in all you experience and most of all,
LOVE and JOY 💖😂💖 ~ Lynn
Really enjoyed reading your personal thoughts and thoughtful message❣❣❣
Thinking of you as we all look ahead to Spring and the glorious rebirth and renewal of life and Soul. Want to express my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for all your extraordinary work which has brought many profound truths to our lives❣ 2016 to present have been, for me, years of beautiful awakenings and yet, also years of somber realization - on sooo many levels. Life, and living it is the ultimate and sublime teacher❣ For the days and months ahead on your journey, I'm sending you special wishes for exhilarating moments, wonderful days of discovery, beauty in all you experience and most of all,
LOVE and JOY 💖😂💖 ~ Lynn
ThriftStoreWhore
28 Jan 2022
Thanks for your hard work. Rest and refill your heart. Hopefully Trudeau gets the truckers' message.
We have a long way to go in the fight. I've been following IPOT and X22 for years, too. What a journey! Along with the alternative news sources, we've got a great picture to contrast against Fake News. You just can't un-see it once you wake up.
My gut felt the changes over 10 years ago, but I thought it was localized to my life in California. I moved and felt a sense of renewal for a couple of years. Then CV19 hit and my life was thrown upside down. Thankfully, some of the answers were already at my fingertips thanks to you and the others.
There are positive morsels for us. I was surprised that Senator Johnson had the medical alternative opinion hearing that exposed the fraud and maliciousness of the DS. Are we really witnessing the Fall of the Cabal? What kind of person will survive the spiritual war?
Your work is greatly appreciated. Looking forward to your return.
Respectfully,
Lilly
We have a long way to go in the fight. I've been following IPOT and X22 for years, too. What a journey! Along with the alternative news sources, we've got a great picture to contrast against Fake News. You just can't un-see it once you wake up.
My gut felt the changes over 10 years ago, but I thought it was localized to my life in California. I moved and felt a sense of renewal for a couple of years. Then CV19 hit and my life was thrown upside down. Thankfully, some of the answers were already at my fingertips thanks to you and the others.
There are positive morsels for us. I was surprised that Senator Johnson had the medical alternative opinion hearing that exposed the fraud and maliciousness of the DS. Are we really witnessing the Fall of the Cabal? What kind of person will survive the spiritual war?
Your work is greatly appreciated. Looking forward to your return.
Respectfully,
Lilly
Becca
28 Jan 2022
Thank you for the update. I admit I was worried until I saw some current posts from Lisbet Croissant. Yes seems like right now is a good time to regather and recoup. I am a painter too, and my father was a physicist and I have a similar interests in all sorts of topics. I try to listen to something interesting, educational, everyday even if it’s while I’m just doing the laundry. Your videos are some of my favorites.
Like you I had felt very alone at times and alienated friends as well due to my outspokenness about the obvious manipulation on tv and media.
I want to thank you for your hard work, research and amazing deep dives and well put together and candid videos.
But mostly I want to thank you for being willing to share your feelings and thoughts in an open and honest way.
You have helped me to realize I’m not alone there are others who see things like I do and feel the same way and are concerned about certain trends that seem oddly to be on purpose or part of some not so great agenda.
But, we will keep the faith and power on and God willing build a better future.
All the Best to you!
Thank you again.
Like you I had felt very alone at times and alienated friends as well due to my outspokenness about the obvious manipulation on tv and media.
I want to thank you for your hard work, research and amazing deep dives and well put together and candid videos.
But mostly I want to thank you for being willing to share your feelings and thoughts in an open and honest way.
You have helped me to realize I’m not alone there are others who see things like I do and feel the same way and are concerned about certain trends that seem oddly to be on purpose or part of some not so great agenda.
But, we will keep the faith and power on and God willing build a better future.
All the Best to you!
Thank you again.
Joe
28 Jan 2022
Polly,
I have been blessed by your videos and look forward to the next time to post. Please take the time you need to right you mind and the ship that you are sailing on. You are important in more ways than I can say, I just know in my heart you have opened my eyes and the eyes of my family on may of the topics you have researched and then shared with us. For that I thank you and offer heart felt prayers for you and your family.
Joe
I have been blessed by your videos and look forward to the next time to post. Please take the time you need to right you mind and the ship that you are sailing on. You are important in more ways than I can say, I just know in my heart you have opened my eyes and the eyes of my family on may of the topics you have researched and then shared with us. For that I thank you and offer heart felt prayers for you and your family.
Joe
Steph B
28 Jan 2022
Thank you so much for all your clever, thoughtful videos. Your diligence is inspiring and you've definitely helped me and my family through these tough times and given us lots of ideas on how to reach out to people here in Qc. God Bless you Polly, and us all.
Charlotte Patterson
28 Jan 2022
Dear Polly, I could have written most of your account myself. Our paths to the awareness that “something’s not right here, none of this makes sense” are so similar. However, for whatever reason, you have been able to put it all together and share it so much better than I could. When I try to write, I’m constantly editing myself. When I try to talk, I forget all I knew previously. And I have to constantly remind myself I’m not crazy, though if a poll were taken you’d probably get a different result. I can tell you that what has kept me from going crazy is the faith in Christ and absolute conviction I have that His word is 100% reliable that I found in 1973. Your calm well-reasoned approach to all this has been a blessing and a re-assurance to me. I miss you on YouTube, but I understand why you left. Have a good rest and re-charge while you can. I’m of the conviction now that we are nearing a tipping point and may not have the opportunity to rest and re-charge for much longer. God bless you.