I'm Still Alive and Free

I'm Still Alive and Free

Just a quick note of explanation for my regular audience.

I haven't made a new video in a long time and website updates have become irregular. For proof-of-life (hehe) you might want to follow my "associate" on Twitter. (see: (4) Mrs. Smith (@FringeViews) / Twitter )

Many of you know I had intended to take a break in January but put it off to cover the Trucker Convoy in Canada. It was a very important moment for my country so I used every last bit of energy I had to do reports about it at the time. After the convoy coverage I did the one WEF Global Shapers video because I felt the information was important as it gave the public a chance to pinpoint exactly who they could track and approach in their local areas. I was glad to see that information spread far and wide! Thank you to everyone who jumped on that topic and contributed with their own research, sharing the video, etc.

After that Global Shapers report went out, I ran out of gas.

Look, I know these moaning-type posts must be getting boring for you. It's not a subject I want to be writing about, believe me, but I think an explanation is warranted after such a long absence. My apologies if the following comes off as self-indulgent but there are those who I know are worried about me or who are wondering whether or not I'm gone for good so this post is for them. (God bless all of you for your genuine care, concern and connection. I am so grateful and blessed beyond words to have such a wonderful group around me.)

Let me start by acknowledging something important that is missing from the bulk of commentary in this day and age: we are living in a time of disorientation, loss, grief, desperation, information overload, and (mostly falsified) existential terror. We are being tortured, and torture works. People lose themselves. People acquiesce to all sorts of things they didn't think possible under normal circumstances. People go into shock. People give up, they cave in, and people die. Even though torture always succeeds in changing a person, it is not all negative in the end. I would never, ever advocate for torture and believe it to be a great evil, so don't mistake my message here. But there are some individuals who become stronger in some ways from the experience. Changed, and mostly negatively so, but having been forged in the fire their resolve hardens and becomes unbreakable. During the period of torture, however, each individual suffers in different measure according to his or her own constitution. Like it or not, that is where we are now. We are all still enduring the torture. What has been forced upon us for the past two (or more) years has been and continues to be a destruction of society, economy, culture, family, faith and individuals. Whatever stage you're in at the moment, however you are personally dealing with the torture I'm sure you will be able to relate to some of what I'm about to write.

Without getting into details, I can share that I've been lost in the Land of Deep Mourning for a while now. At first, even though the Covid Craziness was horrifying, I had been able to face it because my personal world remained intact. I had a sheltered island to retreat to while the surrounding sea was roiled by fear, doubt and uncertainty. For about 16 months following March 2020 I was able to see, research and deliver all the ugly news without it eating away at my heart and soul. I went to sleep at night peacefully because I felt that from my island I could perhaps help to inform people and thus help bring sanity back to society with my little contributions. This foundation - my island - had been all I needed to be able to carry on staring into the abyss, bring you reports, and even have a chuckle from time to time.

In September my island sunk into the deep. I can't tell you what happened for the sake of privacy though I dearly wish to dilute the exquisite pain contained in the story by pouring it out of me and into the hearts of all who read it. To do so would be selfish, though, so I choose to contain it within. Suffice to say that it was a blindside. The facts took weeks to fully set in and the emotional rollercoaster has not come to a stop yet. Since September I've been dealing with the typical stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Since this wasn't a death there's not been an end point. I can't accept it because the future is still unfolding. Maybe instead of 'acceptance' which is supposed to be the final stage of grief I will have to learn to live with it in another way.

In any case, what I found was that I couldn't look at the news any more. All of it was (is?) too painful. I could (can) barely interact with people. Who will I be when I come out the other end of this? How much of this is me being over-dramatic? What do I want for the future and am I even in control of this death/rebirth that I feel I'm going through?

Coincidentally (or probably not) my physical health began to deteriorate as well. It is mostly my eyes, as it was when I'd tried to escape Ontario and drive part way across the country. (Is this God or the Adversary stepping in I wonder?) Perhaps it is related to the fact that everything is twice as difficult to do now but my energy level has plummeted to a concerning level. What with the medical system here having bottomed out - not only will doctors not see patients in the office (hello Great Reset & Telehealth) - but I'm dubious in the extreme about interacting with it anyway.

As you can probably guess much of my work time is spent reading so with very blurry vision, well, you can guess how that has impacted my routine. And not just for reading, of course, but for all aspects of life. Perhaps de to the psychological factors in play I have found that when I try to work I feel nauseated and shaky, like I've been through a form of aversion therapy (torture, maybe.) On the other hand not working and not producing has also been very difficult. This is the basic shape of the hole I'm trying to climb out of with the help of distance, prayer and reflection.

As I type today I believe I'll be able to make a video soon, God willing. I'm feeling a little better lately and I've worked out some 'Mad Max' solutions for my ever-changing vision (see pic). Just a few days ago I got a new pair which works today but may not work a week from now. Luckily I have kept almost every pair of glasses I have ever worn, so I have material to work with. 🙂 Hey - it's a head start on the coping skills we'll all need in the 'you-will-own-nothing-and-be-happy' future, right? I can be the hobo optician. Ha!

Once again I apologize for making a post that is all about me and my problems (cringe) but as I said I've been away long enough that my monthly subscribers and other supporters were owed an honest explanation for my absence.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to check out that twitter link. Mrs. Smith would be happy to see you.

God bless,

Polly

314

reviews

Leslie Lee

16 Apr 2022

Just wanted to tell you that YOU ARE NEEDED! Get back on the horse. 🐎

Linda

16 Apr 2022

Miss you Polly. I’ve watched you since early 2020. I learned a lot listening to you. Thank you for your invaluable service. I understand the burnout. You have to unplug from time to time to reflect and refuel. The ugliness out there can get heavy. Take care of you. Look forward to your return when you are ready. God bless you!

ElaineE

15 Apr 2022

Hi Polly,
I've been a long time subscriber and have been checking bitchute daily for your return. I have experienced the same thing with my eyes. Heres what I've found helps. Get outside in the sunshine for as long as possible, and every day is best. (No sunscreen so you soak in Vit.D) the 5g wifi is all the problem! It is a weapon developed by the military, years ago. See stopthecrime.net. Your eyes also need Vit.D from the sun, so no sunglasses. Anothe thing the 5g does is binds the iodine we require, also iron. Do your research on these products! I you email me, I have a story about the Nephilim for you that is happening now.
Love you so much. I hope you spend as much time healing as you can.
You are truly righteous and God will bless you!❤🙏✝️

marble

15 Apr 2022

Polly, much thanks for the very good battle you have been fighting very well. Most who follow you know what it is about, Satan attacking God, and you have earned far more medals than most. To approach it another way, you are resting, being healed, in recovery, in rehab, or in a semi-retirement as Grand Blogger Emeritus in a war much bigger than a game of hockey and a reward much greater than a Stanley Cup. Our prayers are with you for full recovery, health, and your prayers wherever you are will be heard and most effective. Much love (in a non-sexual way, being a married octogenarian), marble.

Paul Murphy

15 Apr 2022

Ahh, you are human after all, whilst reading I was thinking hey, I been getting problems with my eyes, when inside not too bad, but when I go outside they get very blurry no matter what the weather. That has been for about 4 or 5 month. Also past 6 weeks I been finding difficult to get motivated to do my art painting and keep up with events and no interest in socialising or girls either.

Maybe it's the chem trails that have increased more than ten fold past few months here in Brighton UK anyhow.

You are the opitamy of professionalism and hot to boot too. Enjoy your break and remember you owe no one anything.

Skip

15 Apr 2022

Sooo glad I looked at your .net today. I too was very concerned about your well being. My wife and I have been following you for at least 6 years, and pray for you offten especially during Canada's current state of tyranny. Bless you and Mr. St George

Jean D

15 Apr 2022

You have been a haven for me. If you ever need it, I will be a haven for you. Thank you most sincerely for sharing your gifts. Do not forget who you are. ♥️

Philippians 4:6-7

George J Raab

15 Apr 2022

Take all the time you need! Polly I'll be sitting right here Whenever your ready! God Bless! In the Meantime we'll all hold down the Fort!! With much Love!! @MisbehavingIrishman

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