I'm Still Alive and Free
I'm Still Alive and FreeJust a quick note of explanation for my regular audience.
I haven't made a new video in a long time and website updates have become irregular. For proof-of-life (hehe) you might want to follow my "associate" on Twitter. (see: (4) Mrs. Smith (@FringeViews) / Twitter )
Many of you know I had intended to take a break in January but put it off to cover the Trucker Convoy in Canada. It was a very important moment for my country so I used every last bit of energy I had to do reports about it at the time. After the convoy coverage I did the one WEF Global Shapers video because I felt the information was important as it gave the public a chance to pinpoint exactly who they could track and approach in their local areas. I was glad to see that information spread far and wide! Thank you to everyone who jumped on that topic and contributed with their own research, sharing the video, etc.
After that Global Shapers report went out, I ran out of gas.
Look, I know these moaning-type posts must be getting boring for you. It's not a subject I want to be writing about, believe me, but I think an explanation is warranted after such a long absence. My apologies if the following comes off as self-indulgent but there are those who I know are worried about me or who are wondering whether or not I'm gone for good so this post is for them. (God bless all of you for your genuine care, concern and connection. I am so grateful and blessed beyond words to have such a wonderful group around me.)
Let me start by acknowledging something important that is missing from the bulk of commentary in this day and age: we are living in a time of disorientation, loss, grief, desperation, information overload, and (mostly falsified) existential terror. We are being tortured, and torture works. People lose themselves. People acquiesce to all sorts of things they didn't think possible under normal circumstances. People go into shock. People give up, they cave in, and people die. Even though torture always succeeds in changing a person, it is not all negative in the end. I would never, ever advocate for torture and believe it to be a great evil, so don't mistake my message here. But there are some individuals who become stronger in some ways from the experience. Changed, and mostly negatively so, but having been forged in the fire their resolve hardens and becomes unbreakable. During the period of torture, however, each individual suffers in different measure according to his or her own constitution. Like it or not, that is where we are now. We are all still enduring the torture. What has been forced upon us for the past two (or more) years has been and continues to be a destruction of society, economy, culture, family, faith and individuals. Whatever stage you're in at the moment, however you are personally dealing with the torture I'm sure you will be able to relate to some of what I'm about to write.
Without getting into details, I can share that I've been lost in the Land of Deep Mourning for a while now. At first, even though the Covid Craziness was horrifying, I had been able to face it because my personal world remained intact. I had a sheltered island to retreat to while the surrounding sea was roiled by fear, doubt and uncertainty. For about 16 months following March 2020 I was able to see, research and deliver all the ugly news without it eating away at my heart and soul. I went to sleep at night peacefully because I felt that from my island I could perhaps help to inform people and thus help bring sanity back to society with my little contributions. This foundation - my island - had been all I needed to be able to carry on staring into the abyss, bring you reports, and even have a chuckle from time to time.
In September my island sunk into the deep. I can't tell you what happened for the sake of privacy though I dearly wish to dilute the exquisite pain contained in the story by pouring it out of me and into the hearts of all who read it. To do so would be selfish, though, so I choose to contain it within. Suffice to say that it was a blindside. The facts took weeks to fully set in and the emotional rollercoaster has not come to a stop yet. Since September I've been dealing with the typical stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Since this wasn't a death there's not been an end point. I can't accept it because the future is still unfolding. Maybe instead of 'acceptance' which is supposed to be the final stage of grief I will have to learn to live with it in another way.
In any case, what I found was that I couldn't look at the news any more. All of it was (is?) too painful. I could (can) barely interact with people. Who will I be when I come out the other end of this? How much of this is me being over-dramatic? What do I want for the future and am I even in control of this death/rebirth that I feel I'm going through?
Coincidentally (or probably not) my physical health began to deteriorate as well. It is mostly my eyes, as it was when I'd tried to escape Ontario and drive part way across the country. (Is this God or the Adversary stepping in I wonder?) Perhaps it is related to the fact that everything is twice as difficult to do now but my energy level has plummeted to a concerning level. What with the medical system here having bottomed out - not only will doctors not see patients in the office (hello Great Reset & Telehealth) - but I'm dubious in the extreme about interacting with it anyway.
As you can probably guess much of my work time is spent reading so with very blurry vision, well, you can guess how that has impacted my routine. And not just for reading, of course, but for all aspects of life. Perhaps de to the psychological factors in play I have found that when I try to work I feel nauseated and shaky, like I've been through a form of aversion therapy (torture, maybe.) On the other hand not working and not producing has also been very difficult. This is the basic shape of the hole I'm trying to climb out of with the help of distance, prayer and reflection.
As I type today I believe I'll be able to make a video soon, God willing. I'm feeling a little better lately and I've worked out some 'Mad Max' solutions for my ever-changing vision (see pic). Just a few days ago I got a new pair which works today but may not work a week from now. Luckily I have kept almost every pair of glasses I have ever worn, so I have material to work with. 🙂 Hey - it's a head start on the coping skills we'll all need in the 'you-will-own-nothing-and-be-happy' future, right? I can be the hobo optician. Ha!
Once again I apologize for making a post that is all about me and my problems (cringe) but as I said I've been away long enough that my monthly subscribers and other supporters were owed an honest explanation for my absence.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget to check out that twitter link. Mrs. Smith would be happy to see you.
God bless,
Polly
314
reviews
David Wilson
14 Apr 2022
I am so glad to have found this site as I was extremely concerned for you Polly, one the true greats
of the 'alternative media'. Although your ship is obviously rounding Cape Horn at present, I sincerely trust you will get through, heal, & find far more pleasant waters. God Bless.
of the 'alternative media'. Although your ship is obviously rounding Cape Horn at present, I sincerely trust you will get through, heal, & find far more pleasant waters. God Bless.
Eric Sandstrom
14 Apr 2022
I love how genuine you are. You really do care about people. And your research is impressive I didn’t know about you until Covid started. Question: did you know in the 9/11 truth movement there’s people that claim flight 93 hit the field at Shanksville and that flight 77 hit the pentagon? would you say this is definite SHILL/agent activity? Or honest opinion? I’ve come to the conclusion the whole movement……every influential person/organization is a SHAM. Not one of them has unity no influential person/organization is believing proclaiming defending no plane hit the field or the Pentagon coupled with the towers coming down by explosives. Nobody and Richard Gage is causing nothing but confusion.
Louise
14 Apr 2022
Hi Polly
I am so glad that yo are doing okay in these testing days. Here in Australia our elections are due next month . I am praying that Labour (similar to dem ) don’t get in .To vote them in is Australia totally under control of The NWO . BUT GOD. Y husband and I live in Queensland so not quite as controlling as other states, BUT that can change so quickly as we all who are awake knows. I will keep you in Prayer and also write you in my prayer journal.
Stay strong and know that no Matter what GOD WILL WIN IN THE END . He sits on His Throne and laughs . Praise God we know him otherwise I would go completely out of my mind with no HOPE. Our HOPE is in HIM
Amen and GODBLESS you for all you do
Love ❤️ Louise
I am so glad that yo are doing okay in these testing days. Here in Australia our elections are due next month . I am praying that Labour (similar to dem ) don’t get in .To vote them in is Australia totally under control of The NWO . BUT GOD. Y husband and I live in Queensland so not quite as controlling as other states, BUT that can change so quickly as we all who are awake knows. I will keep you in Prayer and also write you in my prayer journal.
Stay strong and know that no Matter what GOD WILL WIN IN THE END . He sits on His Throne and laughs . Praise God we know him otherwise I would go completely out of my mind with no HOPE. Our HOPE is in HIM
Amen and GODBLESS you for all you do
Love ❤️ Louise
Will Goodall
14 Apr 2022
It's never easy to see a place of refuge in tatters, however, a multitude have watched their livelihoods and futures dissolve before their eyes long before your personal misfortune and far more is to come. While I understand that unexpected trials don't digest quickly, I believe that you draw strength through the discovery and dissemination of the profound jeopardies in which we now find ourselves. I urge you now to suck it up and get back to work. I'm going to stop typing now......
Jim Murphy
14 Apr 2022
Polly, God Bless and Protect you and yours. You have been a fearless warrior for so many years. Real, human, gracious, hard worker and sharing so much insight and information. I always shared your work and called you the holder of true history in your archives. If there was ever a “dot to convect” it was on your computer somewhere waiting to be put into a story. Prayers for your health and peace Polly. We sincerely miss you and want you back smiling at us. Our “Oh Canada” Spirit. We look for the “Hand of God” Moment. Humanity can not survive these monsters. Thanks for everything you have done.
SisterFromAnotherMister
14 Apr 2022
Ms Polly, I was just checking around to see if you made any updates and was indeed worried about you, thank you for the update. I unplugged from the news when the covid theatre started so I totally get you. I know you have mentioned that you are Christian so I’m sharing my thoughts from that perspective: the world as we know it is dying, just as God told us it would. Greed and the desire to prove that God is not needed for “we are as gods” has taken over again, as predicted in the Bible. But as we mourn the loss of our dreams and plans for the future, we have to remember that this was never supposed to be our home, we’re sojourners traveling to our real home bringing others with us along the way. In that regard, God is showing us mercy but giving us this feeling of disconnecting from the world and mourning the loss. I feel like this is probably how Noah and his family felt back in the day. Wondering what the future held and yet trusting that God had a plan. He has a plan for us too. Jesus is our Ark, our refuge from the storm beginning to swirl around us. Lean into Him for He said that the enemy would never be able to pry us out of His hand and that He would never let go! I will see you on the other side of this mess my friend!
Cheryl
14 Apr 2022
Prayers to you Polly. I work in a hospital and feel as though I'm in the beginnings of PTSD. Many of us are. I'm so sorry for you. Ill be praying for full health recovery. Expect healing!! Reject all illness! Love you.
James M Dodson
14 Apr 2022
Thank you for the update! I can well understand about needing to just get away from it for awhile. I am glad that you are considering making another video soon. You do unbelievably thorough research! I have referred other people to Amazing Polly. Thank you for all your excellent videos.