I'm Still Alive and Free
I'm Still Alive and FreeJust a quick note of explanation for my regular audience.
I haven't made a new video in a long time and website updates have become irregular. For proof-of-life (hehe) you might want to follow my "associate" on Twitter. (see: (4) Mrs. Smith (@FringeViews) / Twitter )
Many of you know I had intended to take a break in January but put it off to cover the Trucker Convoy in Canada. It was a very important moment for my country so I used every last bit of energy I had to do reports about it at the time. After the convoy coverage I did the one WEF Global Shapers video because I felt the information was important as it gave the public a chance to pinpoint exactly who they could track and approach in their local areas. I was glad to see that information spread far and wide! Thank you to everyone who jumped on that topic and contributed with their own research, sharing the video, etc.
After that Global Shapers report went out, I ran out of gas.
Look, I know these moaning-type posts must be getting boring for you. It's not a subject I want to be writing about, believe me, but I think an explanation is warranted after such a long absence. My apologies if the following comes off as self-indulgent but there are those who I know are worried about me or who are wondering whether or not I'm gone for good so this post is for them. (God bless all of you for your genuine care, concern and connection. I am so grateful and blessed beyond words to have such a wonderful group around me.)
Let me start by acknowledging something important that is missing from the bulk of commentary in this day and age: we are living in a time of disorientation, loss, grief, desperation, information overload, and (mostly falsified) existential terror. We are being tortured, and torture works. People lose themselves. People acquiesce to all sorts of things they didn't think possible under normal circumstances. People go into shock. People give up, they cave in, and people die. Even though torture always succeeds in changing a person, it is not all negative in the end. I would never, ever advocate for torture and believe it to be a great evil, so don't mistake my message here. But there are some individuals who become stronger in some ways from the experience. Changed, and mostly negatively so, but having been forged in the fire their resolve hardens and becomes unbreakable. During the period of torture, however, each individual suffers in different measure according to his or her own constitution. Like it or not, that is where we are now. We are all still enduring the torture. What has been forced upon us for the past two (or more) years has been and continues to be a destruction of society, economy, culture, family, faith and individuals. Whatever stage you're in at the moment, however you are personally dealing with the torture I'm sure you will be able to relate to some of what I'm about to write.
Without getting into details, I can share that I've been lost in the Land of Deep Mourning for a while now. At first, even though the Covid Craziness was horrifying, I had been able to face it because my personal world remained intact. I had a sheltered island to retreat to while the surrounding sea was roiled by fear, doubt and uncertainty. For about 16 months following March 2020 I was able to see, research and deliver all the ugly news without it eating away at my heart and soul. I went to sleep at night peacefully because I felt that from my island I could perhaps help to inform people and thus help bring sanity back to society with my little contributions. This foundation - my island - had been all I needed to be able to carry on staring into the abyss, bring you reports, and even have a chuckle from time to time.
In September my island sunk into the deep. I can't tell you what happened for the sake of privacy though I dearly wish to dilute the exquisite pain contained in the story by pouring it out of me and into the hearts of all who read it. To do so would be selfish, though, so I choose to contain it within. Suffice to say that it was a blindside. The facts took weeks to fully set in and the emotional rollercoaster has not come to a stop yet. Since September I've been dealing with the typical stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Since this wasn't a death there's not been an end point. I can't accept it because the future is still unfolding. Maybe instead of 'acceptance' which is supposed to be the final stage of grief I will have to learn to live with it in another way.
In any case, what I found was that I couldn't look at the news any more. All of it was (is?) too painful. I could (can) barely interact with people. Who will I be when I come out the other end of this? How much of this is me being over-dramatic? What do I want for the future and am I even in control of this death/rebirth that I feel I'm going through?
Coincidentally (or probably not) my physical health began to deteriorate as well. It is mostly my eyes, as it was when I'd tried to escape Ontario and drive part way across the country. (Is this God or the Adversary stepping in I wonder?) Perhaps it is related to the fact that everything is twice as difficult to do now but my energy level has plummeted to a concerning level. What with the medical system here having bottomed out - not only will doctors not see patients in the office (hello Great Reset & Telehealth) - but I'm dubious in the extreme about interacting with it anyway.
As you can probably guess much of my work time is spent reading so with very blurry vision, well, you can guess how that has impacted my routine. And not just for reading, of course, but for all aspects of life. Perhaps de to the psychological factors in play I have found that when I try to work I feel nauseated and shaky, like I've been through a form of aversion therapy (torture, maybe.) On the other hand not working and not producing has also been very difficult. This is the basic shape of the hole I'm trying to climb out of with the help of distance, prayer and reflection.
As I type today I believe I'll be able to make a video soon, God willing. I'm feeling a little better lately and I've worked out some 'Mad Max' solutions for my ever-changing vision (see pic). Just a few days ago I got a new pair which works today but may not work a week from now. Luckily I have kept almost every pair of glasses I have ever worn, so I have material to work with. 🙂 Hey - it's a head start on the coping skills we'll all need in the 'you-will-own-nothing-and-be-happy' future, right? I can be the hobo optician. Ha!
Once again I apologize for making a post that is all about me and my problems (cringe) but as I said I've been away long enough that my monthly subscribers and other supporters were owed an honest explanation for my absence.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget to check out that twitter link. Mrs. Smith would be happy to see you.
God bless,
Polly
314
reviews
Penny
11 Apr 2022
Christ's peace be with you this Holy Week, Polly. I will be praying for your physical and spiritual vision.
Joshua Cummins
11 Apr 2022
I am sorry for your misfortune Polly. You are the best.
TC
11 Apr 2022
Well, thank God you & yours are not chillin' in one of Castro's Bastard Son's concentration camps.
Last week, I had a six-month follow up appointment for my NPDR (Diabetic Retinopathy) condition (among other medical stuff). My inner voice told me to Double Down in my efforts of taking care of myself. WE only get one ride on this merry-go-round.
Last week, I had a six-month follow up appointment for my NPDR (Diabetic Retinopathy) condition (among other medical stuff). My inner voice told me to Double Down in my efforts of taking care of myself. WE only get one ride on this merry-go-round.
Laurence
11 Apr 2022
Hello Polly,
I am very sorry to hear of your health problems. It does not surprise me, personally, however. As a single immigrant from Europe in Canada in the late 2000s, I had horrendous experiences there, including mysterious ill-health. I had to leave for those same health reasons. As soon as I did, the illnesses evaporated, somewhat miraculously.
I am reluctant, even now, to explain what exactly happened, as I do not wish to invite further trouble. Yes, trouble. I hold a degree in a solid, scientific discipline (the reason why I was granted a visa to work in the first place) and am not given to making claims without evidence. However, having considered everything that happened, I am as certain as one can be that I was made a targeted individual in some covert and very sinister experiment.
I write because I am concerned that you may be under similar oppressive forces. These can be very real. I still do not understand how 'they' were able to do what they did but it involved, at the least, the following two elements:
1. An operative (someone familiar enough to you, such as a work colleague, in order to monitor your 'progress');
2. Tracking (they can switch symptoms on and off with alarming alacrity).
I sincerely hope that this is not what is happening to you but it is possible. Are you having lots of 'coincidences'? Weird meetings with acquaintances/work colleagues?
Try putting distance between you and Canada as a test. Do your symptoms improve?
God bless you.
I am very sorry to hear of your health problems. It does not surprise me, personally, however. As a single immigrant from Europe in Canada in the late 2000s, I had horrendous experiences there, including mysterious ill-health. I had to leave for those same health reasons. As soon as I did, the illnesses evaporated, somewhat miraculously.
I am reluctant, even now, to explain what exactly happened, as I do not wish to invite further trouble. Yes, trouble. I hold a degree in a solid, scientific discipline (the reason why I was granted a visa to work in the first place) and am not given to making claims without evidence. However, having considered everything that happened, I am as certain as one can be that I was made a targeted individual in some covert and very sinister experiment.
I write because I am concerned that you may be under similar oppressive forces. These can be very real. I still do not understand how 'they' were able to do what they did but it involved, at the least, the following two elements:
1. An operative (someone familiar enough to you, such as a work colleague, in order to monitor your 'progress');
2. Tracking (they can switch symptoms on and off with alarming alacrity).
I sincerely hope that this is not what is happening to you but it is possible. Are you having lots of 'coincidences'? Weird meetings with acquaintances/work colleagues?
Try putting distance between you and Canada as a test. Do your symptoms improve?
God bless you.
Lauren G
11 Apr 2022
Hello
long time lover of your brilliant work
U prob are not in the mood for suggestions but I felt compelled to respond
Amanda Vollmer is a wizard healer that I have been soaking up information from for many years (also hails from Canada and has been switched on for idk how long)
She makes DMSO eye drops in two concentrations (20% and 40% and some with added vitamin c and nutrients)
She has had success treating many eye issues so far and it can be used internally externally blah blah blah
She is no longer taking clients but she has a ginormous Amount of free content at yummy.doctor
Buying dmso of course is illegal or something in Canada but she made her business private so I guess there’s ways around it
She wrote a small booklet on the subject called healing with dmso and if u can get your hands on some u could make your own dilutions like I do
I am also just coming out of a deep dark hole of hell in my mind and body
The future eekkkk!
It will all be ok is the thing I keep hearing but wow is earth hard
Sending so much ❤️
she has changed my life with her wisdom
Much like u :)
Good luck
Keep going
I feel like I’ve lived 3 lifetimes already :/
long time lover of your brilliant work
U prob are not in the mood for suggestions but I felt compelled to respond
Amanda Vollmer is a wizard healer that I have been soaking up information from for many years (also hails from Canada and has been switched on for idk how long)
She makes DMSO eye drops in two concentrations (20% and 40% and some with added vitamin c and nutrients)
She has had success treating many eye issues so far and it can be used internally externally blah blah blah
She is no longer taking clients but she has a ginormous Amount of free content at yummy.doctor
Buying dmso of course is illegal or something in Canada but she made her business private so I guess there’s ways around it
She wrote a small booklet on the subject called healing with dmso and if u can get your hands on some u could make your own dilutions like I do
I am also just coming out of a deep dark hole of hell in my mind and body
The future eekkkk!
It will all be ok is the thing I keep hearing but wow is earth hard
Sending so much ❤️
she has changed my life with her wisdom
Much like u :)
Good luck
Keep going
I feel like I’ve lived 3 lifetimes already :/
Ed
11 Apr 2022
Polly, Even for the faithful, these times can be very discouraging. Remember, what we are seeing is evidence that we are living in what the Bible calls "The last days." Let the increasing wickedness not be a discouragement, but a faith-strengthening sign to you that we are getting close to the fulfillment of Bible prophecy. Read Revelation for the encouragement that this is God's fight and not ours. The prophecies about Global Government are not a warning for us so we can try to stop it by our own efforts with some kind of "Great Awaking." They are there to tell us what WILL take place and also tell us how God, not us, will take care of it. Let your heart rest in peace knowing that it is not our fight, but God's. Let the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be upon you.
Darlene kershaw
11 Apr 2022
Oh Polly I'm so relieved and concerned for you. I hope you and your family are great despite all the B.S. I'd go on Twitter but I'm trying to get away from Social Media so I'm glad I can communicate this way. I hope you feel better soon, sometimes we just need a break you take care. I can wait for you I either follow you or Mr. Truthbomb 2. You and him are my news.
Liz
11 Apr 2022
Polly,
In Bruce Chatwin's "Songlines", he des ribes how a vision impairment forced him to leave his position at Sotheby's as an antiquities expert. He de ided to do some travelling. His vision restored on the way to the airport.
The worst thing that can happen to the terrorised and tortured especially in a theatre of war without the obvious: bullets and bombs which make it damn clear you're under attack, is to go numb and stay that way. You haven't and it's painful. But not forever. I know it must be cold comfort but yours is a normal, healthy reaction to the ugliness and injustice and depra ity and ice cold mentalities driving this attack.
The fact your feeling is intact means you'll heal. In your own time. But you will. Pot marigold flowers infused in boiling water, applied cool on a couple of cotton pads over the eyes is near miraculous, too. And time.
In Bruce Chatwin's "Songlines", he des ribes how a vision impairment forced him to leave his position at Sotheby's as an antiquities expert. He de ided to do some travelling. His vision restored on the way to the airport.
The worst thing that can happen to the terrorised and tortured especially in a theatre of war without the obvious: bullets and bombs which make it damn clear you're under attack, is to go numb and stay that way. You haven't and it's painful. But not forever. I know it must be cold comfort but yours is a normal, healthy reaction to the ugliness and injustice and depra ity and ice cold mentalities driving this attack.
The fact your feeling is intact means you'll heal. In your own time. But you will. Pot marigold flowers infused in boiling water, applied cool on a couple of cotton pads over the eyes is near miraculous, too. And time.