I'm Still Alive and Free
I'm Still Alive and FreeJust a quick note of explanation for my regular audience.
I haven't made a new video in a long time and website updates have become irregular. For proof-of-life (hehe) you might want to follow my "associate" on Twitter. (see: (4) Mrs. Smith (@FringeViews) / Twitter )
Many of you know I had intended to take a break in January but put it off to cover the Trucker Convoy in Canada. It was a very important moment for my country so I used every last bit of energy I had to do reports about it at the time. After the convoy coverage I did the one WEF Global Shapers video because I felt the information was important as it gave the public a chance to pinpoint exactly who they could track and approach in their local areas. I was glad to see that information spread far and wide! Thank you to everyone who jumped on that topic and contributed with their own research, sharing the video, etc.
After that Global Shapers report went out, I ran out of gas.
Look, I know these moaning-type posts must be getting boring for you. It's not a subject I want to be writing about, believe me, but I think an explanation is warranted after such a long absence. My apologies if the following comes off as self-indulgent but there are those who I know are worried about me or who are wondering whether or not I'm gone for good so this post is for them. (God bless all of you for your genuine care, concern and connection. I am so grateful and blessed beyond words to have such a wonderful group around me.)
Let me start by acknowledging something important that is missing from the bulk of commentary in this day and age: we are living in a time of disorientation, loss, grief, desperation, information overload, and (mostly falsified) existential terror. We are being tortured, and torture works. People lose themselves. People acquiesce to all sorts of things they didn't think possible under normal circumstances. People go into shock. People give up, they cave in, and people die. Even though torture always succeeds in changing a person, it is not all negative in the end. I would never, ever advocate for torture and believe it to be a great evil, so don't mistake my message here. But there are some individuals who become stronger in some ways from the experience. Changed, and mostly negatively so, but having been forged in the fire their resolve hardens and becomes unbreakable. During the period of torture, however, each individual suffers in different measure according to his or her own constitution. Like it or not, that is where we are now. We are all still enduring the torture. What has been forced upon us for the past two (or more) years has been and continues to be a destruction of society, economy, culture, family, faith and individuals. Whatever stage you're in at the moment, however you are personally dealing with the torture I'm sure you will be able to relate to some of what I'm about to write.
Without getting into details, I can share that I've been lost in the Land of Deep Mourning for a while now. At first, even though the Covid Craziness was horrifying, I had been able to face it because my personal world remained intact. I had a sheltered island to retreat to while the surrounding sea was roiled by fear, doubt and uncertainty. For about 16 months following March 2020 I was able to see, research and deliver all the ugly news without it eating away at my heart and soul. I went to sleep at night peacefully because I felt that from my island I could perhaps help to inform people and thus help bring sanity back to society with my little contributions. This foundation - my island - had been all I needed to be able to carry on staring into the abyss, bring you reports, and even have a chuckle from time to time.
In September my island sunk into the deep. I can't tell you what happened for the sake of privacy though I dearly wish to dilute the exquisite pain contained in the story by pouring it out of me and into the hearts of all who read it. To do so would be selfish, though, so I choose to contain it within. Suffice to say that it was a blindside. The facts took weeks to fully set in and the emotional rollercoaster has not come to a stop yet. Since September I've been dealing with the typical stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Since this wasn't a death there's not been an end point. I can't accept it because the future is still unfolding. Maybe instead of 'acceptance' which is supposed to be the final stage of grief I will have to learn to live with it in another way.
In any case, what I found was that I couldn't look at the news any more. All of it was (is?) too painful. I could (can) barely interact with people. Who will I be when I come out the other end of this? How much of this is me being over-dramatic? What do I want for the future and am I even in control of this death/rebirth that I feel I'm going through?
Coincidentally (or probably not) my physical health began to deteriorate as well. It is mostly my eyes, as it was when I'd tried to escape Ontario and drive part way across the country. (Is this God or the Adversary stepping in I wonder?) Perhaps it is related to the fact that everything is twice as difficult to do now but my energy level has plummeted to a concerning level. What with the medical system here having bottomed out - not only will doctors not see patients in the office (hello Great Reset & Telehealth) - but I'm dubious in the extreme about interacting with it anyway.
As you can probably guess much of my work time is spent reading so with very blurry vision, well, you can guess how that has impacted my routine. And not just for reading, of course, but for all aspects of life. Perhaps de to the psychological factors in play I have found that when I try to work I feel nauseated and shaky, like I've been through a form of aversion therapy (torture, maybe.) On the other hand not working and not producing has also been very difficult. This is the basic shape of the hole I'm trying to climb out of with the help of distance, prayer and reflection.
As I type today I believe I'll be able to make a video soon, God willing. I'm feeling a little better lately and I've worked out some 'Mad Max' solutions for my ever-changing vision (see pic). Just a few days ago I got a new pair which works today but may not work a week from now. Luckily I have kept almost every pair of glasses I have ever worn, so I have material to work with. 🙂 Hey - it's a head start on the coping skills we'll all need in the 'you-will-own-nothing-and-be-happy' future, right? I can be the hobo optician. Ha!
Once again I apologize for making a post that is all about me and my problems (cringe) but as I said I've been away long enough that my monthly subscribers and other supporters were owed an honest explanation for my absence.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget to check out that twitter link. Mrs. Smith would be happy to see you.
God bless,
Polly
314
reviews
Alice E Cyr
10 Apr 2022
We love you AmazingPolly!! Please don't apologize, i am so sorry that you have endured some serious heartaches! For those who are the best at encouraging others, it's no surprise that you are being attacked this way! Also the enemy went after your eyes! Please start declaring that you are healed and tell that stupid devil to get out of your life ! God has your back ! God loves you and his purpose for your life will continue . I sure hope that this doesn't have anything to do with your spouse. Marriage is so difficult as it is, believe i know. Remember there are many here who really care about you and have offered you to come to the usa ! God bless, we miss you! you are so authentic, real and a truth seeker. Watch the Highwire today with Del Bigtree. they are having a massive rally in La, California. As many are praying for Canada please pray for us too here in America. WE will never give up! or comply Stay strong ! Jesus has given you the mandate, He is your strength. I too been having trouble with my eyesight. Love you! your sister in Christ
Maxwell Watson
10 Apr 2022
Do you think the spike protein or "The Shot" has anything to do with your declining conditions? Get well soon.
Boreal beaver
10 Apr 2022
I wrote you a letter with my number, to which I have had since changed.
If still interested in northern Ontario offgrid retreat, my land closes at the end of the month. I'd like to help you get out of the south and we can chat sometime over the phone when ever your free.
God bless!
If still interested in northern Ontario offgrid retreat, my land closes at the end of the month. I'd like to help you get out of the south and we can chat sometime over the phone when ever your free.
God bless!
Tambra
10 Apr 2022
To THE Amazing Polly!
These past couple years have been trying, devastating, heartbreaking, and at some points, completely unbearable. When you are as invested, in these days of fighting the fight for truth, it becomes extremely overwhelming. I have had to step away on more than one occasion. Your channel is full of deep digs and incredible information, which is appreciated by so many of your audience members. However, we listen to others that have “intel” that they push out, and even though SOME are credible, others - not so much. Many of us are continually being bounced to super high and then dropped to the lowest low when it seems that everyone is lying to us and that we are no closer to any type of resolve. Stolen elections, resurgence of COVID mandates, paying taxes to fund a criminal and corrupt government, inflation that has taken our gas prices out of this world, and food costs that force us to choose cheaper, less healthy options; just to name a few concerns. I say all of this to let you know we are with you. We have all of these obstacles to deal with along with family issues that cause our hearts to shatter. Relatives that have taken the jab, loved ones dying, spouses cheating, mother’s who turn on us, children that have grown up and voice their hate and loathing of us. You have mentioned your faith on numerous occasions. Because of that, I have every idea that you know these times are Biblical. Hang in there, we love and admire you. ❤️
These past couple years have been trying, devastating, heartbreaking, and at some points, completely unbearable. When you are as invested, in these days of fighting the fight for truth, it becomes extremely overwhelming. I have had to step away on more than one occasion. Your channel is full of deep digs and incredible information, which is appreciated by so many of your audience members. However, we listen to others that have “intel” that they push out, and even though SOME are credible, others - not so much. Many of us are continually being bounced to super high and then dropped to the lowest low when it seems that everyone is lying to us and that we are no closer to any type of resolve. Stolen elections, resurgence of COVID mandates, paying taxes to fund a criminal and corrupt government, inflation that has taken our gas prices out of this world, and food costs that force us to choose cheaper, less healthy options; just to name a few concerns. I say all of this to let you know we are with you. We have all of these obstacles to deal with along with family issues that cause our hearts to shatter. Relatives that have taken the jab, loved ones dying, spouses cheating, mother’s who turn on us, children that have grown up and voice their hate and loathing of us. You have mentioned your faith on numerous occasions. Because of that, I have every idea that you know these times are Biblical. Hang in there, we love and admire you. ❤️
Luc
10 Apr 2022
Take care and keep the faith in Christ strong in your heart. Your message has been consistent and dare I say the stuff of internet legend. Stay the course. Your audience, myself included will be here when you return.
Edith
10 Apr 2022
Hi Polly,
Maybe, just maybe some of what you are physically experiencing is being facilitated or sent to you technologically.
I have read there is much personal attack against truth tellers.
There is terrible physical or frequency attacks that can be leveled at a person, and there is also the dark spiritual.
I don't have a clue as to what you accept as possible on a personal level.
By the way, for anyone looking for maybe a place to start I offer this website. It is something to think about and consider becuz what can be work against you can be worked for you. It depends upon who's hands are at the helm. Hope you take a look.
http://ombeone.love/
Maybe, just maybe some of what you are physically experiencing is being facilitated or sent to you technologically.
I have read there is much personal attack against truth tellers.
There is terrible physical or frequency attacks that can be leveled at a person, and there is also the dark spiritual.
I don't have a clue as to what you accept as possible on a personal level.
By the way, for anyone looking for maybe a place to start I offer this website. It is something to think about and consider becuz what can be work against you can be worked for you. It depends upon who's hands are at the helm. Hope you take a look.
http://ombeone.love/
Shelly
10 Apr 2022
Miss Amazing Polly,
So good to know you are alive and free. I thought about you today and came to see you and here you are. All is good. What strikes me most looking through all of the responses by your "family" is just how loved and revered you are by us. You are loved dearly. Thank you for your incredible contribution to making sense of these times. God bless you Miss Polly. Take care. We will still be here when you have recharged...and you will.
So good to know you are alive and free. I thought about you today and came to see you and here you are. All is good. What strikes me most looking through all of the responses by your "family" is just how loved and revered you are by us. You are loved dearly. Thank you for your incredible contribution to making sense of these times. God bless you Miss Polly. Take care. We will still be here when you have recharged...and you will.
Paul N
10 Apr 2022
Thank you for sharing with us your update, as I know personally that sharing oneself during crisis is extremely difficult, especially the more hopeless you feel. The refiner's fire is a formidable trainer. You can get through this. The reward is immeasurable. Please take care.